Annals of the Budding Medic

[Aitch]

I have been coming and going from this forum for quite some years now, five to be exact, and finally opening, editing and running a personal biased account of my journey. Going through revision and thinking about my damned dissertation - I really do not think that Medicine is going to be all that easy to get into as people make it out to be.

What personally pisses me off is when EVERYONE says "Oh, you will get in", "Oh, you will be fine", "Oh, you are being melodramatic"...how about "Oh, just **** off, will you?". First of all, do not ask me how I am doing if you have already formed your personal opinion. Secondly, if you do ask me, then just accept my point of view about my own education and perceptions regarding how I am doing.

I am also considering of what the hell to do just in case KnK I do NOT get into Med School. I came up with the following options:

1. International Medicine
2. PhD in something Oncology related
3. Marrying someone rich and being a trophy wife

Now that I have done with being mardy - lets look at some of the good things in life. Tickets have finally arrived and I am going to be rocking the vacations iA, the sun is out, I am fairly doing alright with bits and bobs of work and life is awesome because I am cooking up something for this Summer with my wonderful partner in crime.

Anyhows, best procrastinate for another ten minutes and then press on with more work!

Adios!

[Aitch]

Today has been such a waste of day. Driving to Uni and back for a stupid crappy meeting which was hardly worth it, in fact, it was not worth it at all. Then some home errands - basically, I was not able to revise what I had planned for today. And now I am so tired and do not know how I am keeping my eyes open...the lecture for today was a bitch too. Its like 5000 pages.

I feel so sick too.... I think it might have been the Ploughman's. Urrrkhhh.

Lets get going and try to salvage what has been one of the shittiest days in all my days.

[Aitch]

I have come to the conclusion that I am an narco-somnic bi-polar patient. Finished revision for two big big topics - migraines and then the dementia one. Parkinsons' and Dementia are just awesome illnesses to study and very very fascinating!

Going through the lecture notes, it did strike me at how arrogant some of us have become in terms of "how far we have come in medical research snob snob snob"...whereas in actual fact, we know jack all in some cases and the only things we are left with are correlations and nothing concrete. I also have been thinking about the status of research in the developing world. Fine, the NIH amongst various organisations spends billions on research; but how long does it take? Is the topic a worldly issue or are we just making more expensive technologies just to give the big boohoo to cheaper and equally effective ESTABLISHED drugs? What about doing something about the simplest of diseases which are an endemic? Sometimes I do feel like that a lot of the authority bestowed upon us in the modern world is, quite frankly, abused. Big drug companies behaving in totally monopolistic manner and taking years before a drug is "allowed" to be made and distributed...I actually do not know the reason for such pessimism at this UnGodly hour. Usually I am quite pro-research...I think I shall take the easy route out and blame the stress of exams and having to raid through various journals and find so much to discuss and lament on as well as function in a world as a "normal citizen".

I am quite apprehensive about the upcoming exams and the re-sits and wondering what will happen to my "place at the Deen"...natural, no?

I need sleep...I think I took one proplus too much.

[Aitch]

So far, so good. I was being a bit ambitious thinking I would be able to go through three topics, however, going through two and keeping my sanity in one day would be good too. And at this stage, I do realise that when I say "going through two topics", sounds like I am one of those people who revise for 45 minutes and then think "phoooph, hard work". No. Each of those topic is like the Oxford English Dictionary but eight times over and over. Looking forward to angina pectoris in half an hour or so though. Then maybe another topic or maybe going through the exam past papers and making notes on a few of the essays. We shall see.

I am listening to the classic Chaiyya Chaiyya. I have rarely come across such perfect lyrics in Urdu (ironically in a Hindi film), perfect straightforward amazing choreography. It was also the opening song to Spike Lee's "Inside Man" as far as I can recall. It was less than a decade ago, if you look back to the Bollywood cinema and music, that it was actually worth listening to. Fair enough some of the numbers did seem to have girls sharmaying behind trees, but it was not all that out of order in terms of the tackyness. These days, I feel the true cultures are dying out and everything is too Americanised. Aah well.

I have two weeks after exams to go crazy like anything and then inshAllah heading for pilgrimage I still have to do a lot of background reading and ensure that I make the most of the resources available, and once I am there that I am not a lost sheep. Two weeks of pure boiling weather and shwarma's! I have always maintained that unless you have had an Arabian shwarma, you have not visited the real Arabian land!

Twenty minutes left for this break, lets get some coffee and then bug my wonderful wonderful

[Aitch]

I have just read a totally narcissist, stupid and utterly ridiculous reply on here. You are still the W you were before you left the course!

[Aitch]

It has been a long time since I found myself wandering and peeking through the pages of NMM. A lot has gone on since my last post; dealign with the revision season, already sat one exam, final exam seems to be well on its way, family wise there have been a number of developments (births, marriages and divorces etc). So yup, its been fairly hectic.

I am really nervous about July, I have no idea what grade I shall get for my dissertation, however, I do have a feeling that it will be the make or break. After my A level fiasco and totally high hopes, this time round I am behaving as if I shall not get into Medicine. Of course, if I do not, I will be totally shattered (again) and I have no idea whether I will have the energy or balls to apply to private or international medical schools. I spose I will just feel like I am cheating my way through and do not deserve the place that I will get. Damn it, enough pessimism for one night!

If Aberdeen happens, it will be totally amazing though. But just to focus on some of the short term goals; I am planning a trip this Summer, finances are slightly tight, but if it works out - I shall have a memory and half for the remainder of my life!

I am craving fast food! My mother drills it into me that during exams one must have lots of fruit and veg, healthy hearty meals, plenty of almonds on a morning and evening and of course the water. I am on my fourth litre of water already, something I have not doen since I lost a lot of weight a while back. Weight is another bloody pain up the arse. Why cant we just wake up and be "perfect"

Ok, cutting out on the pessimism does not seem to be working. Ooopsie! Best head and give a bit of attention to the workings of the wonderful mitochondria! Aaah, c'est la vie!

Aitch!

[Aitch]

I simply CANNOT stop doing bhangra to the following track...Jogi maahi heer ranhjna...sab nu jaa kay mein ye bolna...bruuuaaaah!

YouTube - Full Jogi Mahi from Bachna Ae Haseeno

[Aitch]

Wow, I almost forgot about this place due to endless list of stuff going on. Anyhows....awesome news... I have my place of Medicine inshAllah starting Sept...wooooooooooooop! But just a few officialisations needed to get there.

Im tired...lets have a better post tomorrow.

[Aitch]

Dude, I am so sleepy but I cannot sleep...its sickening. Had a crazy day today, met up with some friends and had such a wonderful day. Ive never been the one to know a million odd people, but the few friends that I do have, I keep it real with them. Ive gotten my offer for the University, but I am beginning to get a bit scared too...

...when you work your whole life towards something and you are on the brink of getting it, or even when you get it, its a very very scary feeling. A feeling of..."now what"?

One thing about medical school that is bugging me, is the finance. I know I shall be ok with the fees and expenses, bless my family, thats what they are paying for. But there are always other expenses, and I am not sure whether I shall be able to get a part time job. So, maybe a loan? But I do not want more than £3000 - because paying it back is going to be a mission!

[Aitch]

I am going through this ultra crappy feeling of being in purgatory. Im a hybrid form of a person with an unkown future and a confirmed entry into Aberdeen for 2009.

On the brighter side of things, revision has started for the August exams and there seems to be A LOT of pharmacology...which I do not mind, but the past papers always tell me otherwise! Procrastination sometimes does score a goal, and sometimes it myself...however I have been working on a calender, which is all colour coded and pretty indicating the track that I need to follow. Yes, it has needed a little bit of tweeking and moving dates backwards because some evenings have been spent lazing around and enjoyng family time.

I shall definitly miss family, but I most certainly do need the experience of living away...oh, im gonna be a post grad medic...WOOP! Ok, I do not know WHATS exciting about that, maybe its just the sugar rush.