Dreaming in the clouds

[Dee41]

Hi everyone

I've been reading blueberry pie's weblog and have finally decided to start my own to help keep me focussed and my head out of the clouds .

I am Dee41 and am coming to the end of my first year as a student nurse studying adult nursing. From the very first week of my course I 'knew' that I wanted to progress (?) on and study medicine but don't have the qualifications to get me started. I left school 26 years ago with just 1 O'level (anyone remember them?). Before starting my nursing course I did the access to HE course with gave me level 3 in Biology and Psychology which gained me my nursing place. In my spare (hahaha) time I am studying GCSE maths and chemistry and next year will study physics. Then I will attempt the dreaded gamsat and if I pass and get my honours degree in nursing will apply for GEM at Notts. I'm currently studying my Nursing at Notts and hopefully the connection will help .

I am married, have 2 beautiful daughters and 3 mad cats. I came back from my hols to disneyland paris yesterday and am absolutely knackered. It was all the walking I did and not the bottle of cheap french wine I downed last night ok !

Anyway, I start my next nursing placement on Tuesday. It is on the private wing of my local hospital so hopefully there will be sufficient staff for me to be a student nurse and not a HCSW again. Nothing against HCSW's but that is not what I am studying.

I've got 3 cases full of wonderful smelly washing to get on with so I'll be back soon. Sorry if you have fallen asleep....... but my life isn't that interesting at the moment.

[Dee41]

Well I have now started my new placement and can't believe how many tea breaks I have. I'm not complaining mind...it's just going to be hard when I'm on an NHS ward and won't get time to breath let alone drink tea.

So far I have had a student nurse in the cohort below me ask me if I wanted her to show me how to take patients blood pressure - what the F***!!!! Told her in no uncertain terms NO! Then I walked off in the opposite direction towards the tea room.

I've observed a cataract op and on sat am going to observe a bilateral knee replacement op. Can't wait.

Other than that I've conquered the ironing mountain and it's my birthday on Friday with a mock exam as a nice present. On Monday it's my wedding anniversary with the real exam - good timing eh?

On this placement I can do injections and administer oral medications under supervision - just need a willing body to practice on.....any volunteers out there?

Anyway a bottle of wine beckons......

[Dee41]

Just realised I've done two posts and talked about wine in each ....hic....oops

[Dee41]

Now that's three....and counting!

[Dee41]

Well I didn't get to see the bilateral total knee replacement op as the patient fell and broke her arm the night before and they had to fix that instead. The theatre staff and ward staff wouldn't let me observe even though it had been agreed that I could observe the other op! Mind you did take out some clips from a patients wound which was a first for me.

It was my birthday on Friday and woke up to the usual box of choccies from the kids (that's why I am an 'overflowing' student nurse!!!) and felt really deflated cos hubby had said last week that he was going to swap my boring car for a mini convertible for my birthday but on Tues said we couldn't afford it. Anyway, was in uni in the morning and kept getting text messages asking when I was going to be home which I, of course, ignored. (Sulking..moi??? never!!!!) Anyway he went to the dealers to book his car in for a service and I refused to go in with him and sat in the car. Eventually he and the salesman came out with a huge bouquet of flowers and handed me the key. What did I do? Just sat there like a total lemon and then burst into tears.

All I need now is some sunshine so that I can go posesing (?) around town.

Am going to, though, spend today revising for my DVD exam tomorrow. We had a revision session at uni on Fri and I now know I haven't prepared enough.

On a better note, I got my first GCSE chemistry assignment mark yesterday - 86% woohoo!!!! Gamsat here I come!

[Dee41]

Had my DVD exam this morning and think I have totally messed up. The nursing part of it should be fine but its the communication element that I think I have messed up.

The paperwork we were given said we had to choose ONE theoretical framework and discuss how it could be used to promote a better client/carer interation. However, at the revision session on Friday the module leader said only one framework would show that we were looking to do the minimum amount of work and we should be including 3-4 frameworks minimum. Well I did that (badly I think) and now am so worried that I have done it sooooo wrong. Bloody man making me feel like this!

On a better note I picked up the result of my 4000 word (6 part) EBP assignment and got a whopping 89%. It's the highest in my cohort (I think and apologise to those who scored higher).

I've had great fun driving my little mini conv. around today. Had to have the heating on max though but was def not going to put the hood up. I am turning into such a poseur (sp). How do you spell that word??????

I've been neglecting the kids recently cos of placement, assignments and exams so am going to take them bowling this evening. Have to have the side rails up for their sakes and not cos I can't bowl in a straight line honestly.

See you soon
Dee41
x (maybe I should change that to Dee42 now?)

[Dee41]

Got the results for my DVD exam.....72% in part 1 and 74% in part 2 WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was talking to my mentor this morning and she asked what I was hopeing for .....Der!?!?......A pass would be nice? So she sent me packing off to the school of nursing and boy was I in a sweat opening that envelope.....And the winner is? ME! I PASSED!!!!

Sorry to get so excited but I really did think I had messed up and would have to do a resit. Well, that's me finished with assignments and exams for year one - all passed and with rather respectable results even if I do say so myself (God don't I sound big headed?).

I've got just over 2 weeks left on my final placement of year 1 and am not enjoying it one bit. It is so quiet and there are so many student nurses that we are fighting for jobs to do to meet our outcomes. It really does piss me off (Sorry about that) when first placement/first year students do things that they aren't supposed to cos they haven't covered it in school when they know you need to practice that cos you have only just done it in school. Hope that makes sense.

Anyway, I have decided that I'm just going to keep my head down and get on with things and try to ignore the really annoying things that happen.

The ward is a private one and the consultants deal with the patients directly - no junior doctors here - which is a pity because I've found the consultants really unapproachable and it was a junior doctor who fired my ambition to aim for med school. I've also found the junior doctors so much more approachable and willing to share their knowledge with nurses so, take a bow, cos I thank you all!

I've got a day off tomorrow and need to crack on with my maths and chemistry. What an exciting life I lead.

At least I am getting to grips with S/C and I/M injections and doing the drugs round and, boy, what an expert I am becoming at taking and recording obs.

Don't know if anyone can help me with this but....today I did the morning obs on a lady who had surgery yesterday and they had plumeted to 97/56 from 138/82. She said she felt fine, temp ok, resps ok, sats ok. Said she was in no pain and I reported this to the staff nurse who again checked the patient felt ok but said she had no idea why the BP should be so low. The patients BP is normally around the 140/80 mark? Any ideas guys - can use the info for my outcomes. Pretty please?

Just time for another cuppa before I get the girls from school (that's if you managed to stay awake to read this far in my boring life).

Dee41 (42Shhh)
x

[Dee41]

Sorry not been on here for a while (if you're bothered that is and read my drivel). I have now finished my placement on the private ward and am definately going to try and get my management placement there. That's where I pretend I am in charge of the ward and tell everyone what they should be doing....

One of my final jobs was to admit a patient, get him to x-ray (can't believe a 42 year old chap can't read hospital direction signs) and then get him to theatre by 2pm....easy.

Decided to get him to x-ray first (wanted to avoid queues) but got shouted at cos although I had the patient, the x-ray form and he could vouch for who he was I hadn't put the pretty little bracelet on him....how many people walk in off the streets for x-rays and have these bloody things on?

Then he had to get his 'gown' on and sit and wait for what seemed an insultingly long time considering he was paying for this out of his own pocket (no insurance). our conversation went like this...

Patientis the wait always this long?
MeYep, have to get the inconsiderate emergencies out of the way first
stage leftHelp! Can we have some help in here please?

Cue lots of people running from all directions...
exit one red faced student nurse.....

Oh well, won't try to be funny again.

Am on a weeks hols now - Chemistry and Maths here I come then in school till January. Can't see anything interesting happening. Not that much does anyway.

Oh yes, going to the Thackray Medical Museum in Leeds on Monday - my first school trip in (how many?) years.

[Dee41]

God I am fed up today...

Why is it that when you get married and have kids you are not allowed to have a life of your own anymore?

Let me explain..I started my nursing course wanting to be a nurse (makes sense) but extremely early on into my training realised that nursing was not going to fullfill the ambition in me and to be perfectly honest (sorry to all those nurses out there who love their jobs) but if I were a nurse until the day I retire I would die of boredom. (God please don't slate me for that).

I want to be a doctor. Simple as that. I have observed the doctors on my placements and feel that their role would leave me feeling more fullfilled than nursing.

My hubby hates me getting up for earlies, coming home after lates and working nights and weekends (even though I have been really lucky so far and only had to work 1 Saturday in a whole year and no nights so far).

He keeps telling me to get an ordinary job like everyone else and be there for him and the kids!!!!! I've just had a week off on annual leave and because he decided with the kids to move them to a school nearly 30 miles away have had to get them up at the crack of dawn, get them to school for 8.40 and then drive nearly 30 miles back. Then I've done it all over again at 3pm! He's self employed so I end up doing all his paperwork as he say's his hand writing is attrocious and people wouldn't be able to read it if I didn't do it.

All I seem to do is go to work/uni, do the school runs, wash, iron, shop and clean up after everyone. No wonder I am feeling totally used and fed up.

He doesn't want me to go into medicine as that means I won't be here even more than I'm not now (does that make sense?). And when I try to explain that I need to do this for me he gets the hump and says what about the family?

As much as I love my family I really do feel like a dogsbody. Sorry for the rant but I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I WILL BECOME A DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening
Dee
x

[Dee41]

hi there, i am glad you have such fire and ambition to become a doctor so early on in your nurse training!! i am a nurse who plans on becoming a doctor also but one thing i would never do is slate the very profession that helped me fulfil my dream!! your at the end of your first year right! so you have maybe had approx 3 or 4 placement depending on how your university course works, so how on earth could you say you would die of bordem doing there job if you have had very limited experience. you sound as if you are bored already with what you appear to see as basic duties!! oh how you have under estimayed them!!!the physiological assessments!! recording a patient BP, HR, TEMP, RR, SPO2 are vital for an understanding of the patients true clinical condition! one which should never ever should be devalued or under estimated!! the ward i work is far from boring, we barely manage to get our tea breaks let alone anything else. i presume you havnt yet experienced a very busy, acute setting like emergency medicine? the ward i work on the nurses are very hard working individuals who give excellent nursing care to the patients under very difficult circumstances. like all places you have areas that are more quick paced than othe!rs!! having a nursing degree will give you a satisfactory foundation if becoming a doctor is what you truely want!! BUT having proper clincial experience as a registered nurse would give you an excellent foundation base for becoming a doctor!!However, dont ever under estimate there role, for someone who initially wanted to be one you have developed a negavtive attitude towards them quickly! drop in BP from normal could be due to multiple factors, dehydration, sepsis, ACS, blood loss, active bleed, silent MI, mecdication and the list goes on. 97/56 although would require close monitoring is not grossly low! you havnt mentioned the patients HR how was it? main thing i would have been looking for is active bleeding HR important for that or sepsis!! good luck with the rest of your training and keep that dream in focus i hope you achieve it!! but please please dont slate the nurses role!


WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was sent to my email address and how wrong is this writer!

I respect each and every nurse but nursing is not where I want to be! If we all had no ambition we would not evolve as a human race. I am proud of my ambition and would ask 'curlysin' to keep their comments about my weblog to themselves until they know me a bit better.

Maybe as a doctor YOU could learn to stop assuming things about people!!!! I admit I am a 2nd yr student now (just lol) and have an awful lot to learn but one thing has become apparent so far in my training is how nurses diss doctors but I very rarely hear it the other way round - respect is one thing we are taught please use it when slagging off my thoughts and feelings.

The nursing role is not beneath me in anyway, the taking, recording and acting on obs is important I never said otherwise!!!

BUT and this is the cruxt of the matter I DON'T WANT TO BE A NURSE I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR. I HAVE NOT IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM SLATED OR SLAGGED OF NURSES.

Maybe you will be big enough to apologise (and learn to spell!!!)

Have a happy life
Dee41
x