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Thread: My Hell Hole

  1. #101
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    Post number 101!!! Corr, I go on sometimes

    I de-registered from Queen Mary which was quite a sad moment in my life! I still don't know if I made the right decision. I do like chemistry and the course was hard, but I am now at the point of wondering if I could have made it through.

    I am back at South Bank now and started my lectures last week. On day two I was lucky (!) enough to have to sit a biology and chemistry test. I think the chemistry one went ok, and I think I might have scraped through the biology on past knowledge. I will have to wait and see now. The lecturers have told me that the results won't be too much of a problem as I have only just started.

    I am feeling really positive so far about this course. It doesn't seem too mentally challenging and although the pace will pick up, I think they ease you into it gradually, rather than the throw you in and see if you can swim approach.

    I think I will be OK at South Bank though. One of my friends from two years ago is back there, and there is another girl from my course who did the foundation year with me two years ago as well. So I have seen some familiar faces, and there is also the added benefit of the fact, I know my way around.

    Things are on the up. It is also nice to have two days during the week to be able to do any work (and housework) with no children around. The kids dad is having them once a fortnight now, which is actually working out quite well for me. I have a party next weekend and he has got them, so I won't need to worry about hassling my mum to babysit. I have also got a whole weekend with them this weekend, so I am going to try and be a 'proper' mum and do some messy things with them, starting with papier mache tomorrow, after they get back from Gym.
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar



  2. #102
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    Hey, Hey...

    I am feeling really happy today. I watched High School Musical on the telly last night for the first time, and despite the rather cheesy and albeit bad acting... I really enjoyed it. It had everyone singing all night long and dancing around my front room!!!

    Well the happy vibe seems to have continued on til today and hopefully I can keep it going for as long as possible!!!
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  3. #103
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    Well, I haven't posted on here for a while, but I have been really rough. I had tonsillitis and couldn't swallow a thing (not even spit) for days. The doctor told me he wanted to admit me to hospital if I didn't improve with the antibiotics by the following day. However, after less than 24 hours of using antibiotics, I could actually swallow a little, although it was still like razor blades. I missed uni last week, which I am hoping I will be able to catch up on. :S

    The weekend was a good one. Two of my girls had gymnastics competitions. It was their first one, so we didn't know what to expect. It took us two hours to get there, and it was freezing on sunday too. The first competition was the regional white competition for 8 year olds. Bethia was in this one, and when it came to the presentations, we were in total shock as she won a gold medal!!! She was so happy.

    Her sister however, is not very good at anyone stealing her limelight, and begins to show her horns, at the very thought of anyone doing better than her. Melody's competition was at 16.30hrs and unfortunately hers did not go as well. She didn't get a medal and was heartbroken. She tried to pretend she was fine, but the tears were welling up in her eyes.

    I don't really think she was at a level for this competition yet, as her vault really needs some work on it. The next competition is in March, and Beth will be doing her blue competition then and Melody is likely to be doing her white again. I can only hope that if she works hard, she will be able to do better this time.

    It was good this weekend, and I am so happy that Beth won her medal, but at the same time, you felt guilty celebrating it, when you have another, that was mourning her loss. Maybe I will buy them both a present to congratulate them both for their efforts.
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  4. #104
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    Oh and by the way. That chemistry test I took the day after I started, I got 75% on!!!
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  5. #105
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    I had another test for chemistry yesterday. I don't know how it went. It was on organic chemistry. I think it may have been ok, it had this block of six hundred million formulas and you had to find the pairs of what they wanted. You just seemed to spend ages staring at all of these diagrams, with them all blurring into one. Hopefully it went ok. Time will tell. This is my last test, until the end of semester exam in January. I still have a genetics one to go, but I don't think there will be any more... thank goodness.

    The kids are good, and I feel so crappy sometimes. They seem to get my back up alot recently. The eldest is good at this. She has that teenager arrogance coming through, and she always starts arguments that there is no need for. Hopefully she will get out of that soon, although, knowing my luck, all three of them will be the same and I will end up having a nervous breakdown!!!

    When they are asleep though, you feel rotten for being so moany, as they look so peaceful and sweet. It is short lived though, because they soon wake up and remind you that you are disillusioned!!!

    Oh well, I had better go. I haven't been on here for ages. Spend too much time on facebook these days. I think I will boycott it for a while and stick to visiting msg/nmm. I used to spend most of my life on here, and have lost the urge lately. It is more educational than facebook, I will try and stick to here for a while instead.
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  6. #106
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    Well the boycotting facebook didn't work!!! I am a bit puzzled feeling today and don't really know what I am thinking or feeling. I am also not knowing what to do with myself, which is ridiculous as I have a house to tidy, washing up to do, laundry to put away... the list goes on and on, but the enthusiam is short lived (if it ever existed in the first place).

    I have one week left of uni, a study week on the return and exams after that. I am actually looking forward to the end of semester one. The end of an era!!! I have no children this weekend, so it is quiet. I am not quite as lost without them anymore, not as anxious. I do miss them whilst they are away, however, they remind me what they are really like the second they walk back through the door again. Got to love them really though, they all have faults, but they all have their good sides. Unfortunately, Melody's good side only shows when she is on her own without sisters around.
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  7. #107
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    OOHH and my friend announced that she got married yesterday to the father of her children and her partner of 13 years in a secret wedding!!! That was lovely. It is good to know that things come good for some people and she is worthy of a little happiness.
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  8. #108
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    I am writing this message in case someone in particular is reading it. I have replied to their PM, but I am not necessarily the person in the know. I can only reflect on personal experiences. I am going to start a thread in the doctors mess. I know you are a registered user and can access this section of the site. That way anyone else who has been in a similar position, maybe able to comment further. Some replies may not be truly valid as they look at things from outside the box and may never have been in this situation.

    I have called the post 'violence and relationship breakdowns'. Please answer with empathy on this thread, as it may be a bit sensitive for some people.
    Last edited by blueberrypie; 11-12-2007 at 08:50 PM.
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  9. #109
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    wow. I haven't written anything on here in years it feels like. I am still at uni (just) and received confirmation that I passed my exams yesterday, however I haven't been in for weeks due to some idiot at uni shoving me up against a lift wall. I emailed my tutor weeks ago, but he didn't reply, then I was suffering anxiety attacks on my way there and would turn around and go back home.

    I have spoken to my course director via email and he wants me to come and discuss everything with him next week. I know I can't drop out of a course anyway and be considered for medicine, but I am considering changing to a better uni. If the worst comes to the worst, I am sure I could go back to queen mary. Although, I don't think I would choose chemistry this time, more like biochemistry. However, I always did like the sound of the biomedical informatics, despite everyone saying not to do it, and I have been looking into it lately and am more eager to try something like this.

    I have done my application for ucas and will now try my hardest to find a course that appeals more to me, hopefully without people on it like the current course. :s

    Oh well. I am off to do not very much at all at the moment. I have become a bit addicted to facebook lately, and have developed an addiction to poker on there too. lol. So it is nice to have time away to look at other things. I noticed Gizmo is still floating around on here and probably will be forever.

    See you later all. xxx
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

  10. #110
    Senior Member blueberrypie's Avatar
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    Over a year since I was last here, and still haven't achieved much. I managed to get onto a course at st georges, but I nearly lost my house So st georges said they would hold my place for me til next sept and so I should be going back there shortly. The house is now resolved, thanks to the homeless persons unit, saving me under the mortgage rescue scheme, and woooooooohoooooooooo st georges here I come.... again!!!
    The stars exist that we might know
    how high our dreams can soar

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