::::: The Rejected :::::

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

Lately I’ve been getting hassled by a lot of people armed with questions like, “What are you going to do if you don’t get in?” “What’s your back-up plan?” “I didn’t know you wanted to be a doctor, really? Why?” “Son, when are you going to move out?” and “When are you going to get off your ass and find a real job?” The latter two are obviously from my loving parents. To address these sort of “what if questions,” I’ve compiled a list titled, “Top 5 Things You Could do if Medical School Doesn’t Work Out.”

1. After months of sulking to yourself and shedding a few tears while curled up in a ball in the dark back corner of your room, you’ve finally accepted the fact that the rejection letter you have in your hand is real. You cry some more after realizing that the only thing you’re qualified to do with your undergrad degree is become a janitorial engineer. So you find a job scrubbing toilettes and share deep conversations at lunch with a moderately obese man named Lou.

2. You can become a prostitute. Before you start giving me those “judging eyes,” hear me out. The income potential in the long run could be just as much or even more than a doctor if you were a prostitute. Instead of getting pimped out by the medicare system you’d be getting pimped out by a guy wearing a long faux-fur coat with a matching medallion necklace that accentuates his brilliant gold teeth. Damn I wish I had his dentist!
You can read the rest at therejected.solojourney.org

[everyadam]

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I woke up this morning feeling bloated as usual, I really have to stop eating steak in bed right before I sleep, but I can’t help it – steak is like crack to me. Today I’m going to divulge into a pretty serious topic that affects many people either directly or indirectly: Should I get a haircut today or tomorrow? Ok I’m kidding… I really want to make a few comments about... You can read the rest here.

[everyadam]

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Since a lot of you guys are heading to medical school this fall (NOT ME! Crap! I just rubbed that in my own face…), I decided to take this opportunity to post a video from my Undergraduate Human Anatomy Class. It’s a dissection of a sheep’s heart (very similar to humans). My school was cheap and they weren’t too comfortable with us dissecting a real human heart. So here it is! Enjoy! Click here to see it!

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

After the recent success of the article titled, “Top 5 Things You Could do if Medical School Doesn’t Work Out,” I’ve decided to go ahead and push the limits with a follow up list titled, “Top 5 Reasons Why Becoming a Doctor Will be Good for Your Sex Life.” You can read it by clicking here.

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

I don’t know if you guys ever heard of the story about the birds and the bees. I certainly have not. Even in my wildest imagination I couldn’t attempt to connect birds and bees together in such a way that it is anatomically correct. I can always Google it, but I think it’s better to go through life not really knowing what sex is all about. Apparently I’ve been doing it wrong all this time. I guess you can’t teach an old dog new ways to hide its poop so that you don’t have to follow it everywhere while hunched over and hovering its ass with a plastic bag.

The earliest memory of nudity I can come up with was during my elementary school years. (O my god I can’t believe I’m talking about this). My school had a subscription to National Geographic and had every issue dating back to the early 60s. It was that wonderful fall day in 5th grade that I stumbled upon an issue that featured some African tribal women posing with her baby in what I thought was an offensive position (she was breast feeding him) at the time. I honestly thought that all women in Africa walked around with their boobs and vaginas hanging out for the world to see. Naturally, I went home and begged my parents to book our next summer vacation in Africa. Every boy in my class wanted that issue of National Geographic. It got so beat up that the lesbian…oops librarian had to tape it up and hide it from us. She probably gave the issue a last go around. I never got to see those lopsided breasts and disk shaped nipples accented by a metal plate in her mouth ever again. Well until I started dating this girl in high school, but that’s a different story.

Growing up, it wasn’t my parents who awkwardly sat me down to teach me about sex, rather it was my older cousin. To be honest with you, I think he was just as clueless as I was and still am today. My cousin was interesting; I always thought he was so cool. He always had these outlandish stories about everything. Now that I’m all grown up I realized what that was called: bullshitting. Even so, ‘til this day I can’t do it without having socks and mittens on. What? My enormous size 7 feet get cold sometimes. I guess I’m always going to be one of those blind squirrels wandering around looking for another blind squirrel; preferably one with an endless supply of acorns. I still don’t know what the metaphor is behind the birds and the bees. Maybe I’ll call up my ex-girlfriend; you know the one with the metal plate in her mouth and the left tit being a size larger than her right one, to explain it to me.

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

If it was for the love of medicine, we all would be working in rural Africa. It’s ok to go into a profession for money. Although, you’re in denial if you claim that you have never thought about money. We all have to survive somehow. It’s not like they’re throwing this money at you. As long as you realize that you’re going to be working your ass off for it, then nobody can judge you for your motives. I think people who judge are jealous in the first place so I guess those people don’t matter much. Looking at the list, don’t you think that making $600,000+ is a little excessive? Greedy bastards…. Damn it! I wish I was making that much!

Average salary for practicing physicians in the United States of America...please click here to see the list.

[everyadam]

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I managed to find some time between my “knitting” parties and my weekly book club meetings, we’re reading Judy Bloom by the way, to convert some of my classic cat dissection videos filmed during my human anatomy class. During the semester, the closest I came to seeing a cadaver was witnessing everybody gather around “Mr. Bones.” If we were lucky enough, we were able to touch him. The lab demonstrator had some weird obsession with him; she wouldn’t let us go within 10 feet of him. It wouldn’t surprise me if I now find out that she was sneaking make out sessions with “Mr. Bones” when nobody was watching. What a whore.

I didn’t mind dissecting the cat. However, I hated working in a group full of idiots. One of the girls in my group decided that she liked to lean on the cat while putting her face so close to it so that she can see every detail while making an incision. It actually looked like she was about to give it unnecessary CPR. I bet if the cat was alive, it would have said...Please click here to read the rest and see the video.

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

Hey Loyal Readers, I got my acceptance to medical school yesterday and I will be posting something more eloquent later on. In the meantime I’m going to celebrate! Hopefully the next couple of years will be filled with lots of memories, laughter, stressed induced comas, and irregular bowel movements! Can’t wait to take you guys with me! I think I might just post on my website from now on; it's too much of a hassle to cut and paste all the time. I guess I'm just lazy.

Later for now, everyadam.

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

The Day started like any other day. The stress of knowing that the outcome of this day could change the rest of my life mounted to only 3 hours of non-continuous sleep. I’ve been so use to the 3 or 4 hours of interrupted snoozing every night that my body had become accustomed to it. I guess I was already unintentionally preparing for medical school.

When I finally woke up for good, I quickly gathered my workout gear together and headed to the gym. I love going to the gym mainly because it gave me an opportunity to think without any interruptions… and the fact that I always see this hot girl every time I’m there. Plus, working out helps me bulk up my girly physique into something more masculine – it helps me lose my man boobies, that’s for sure... You can read the rest here.

[everyadam]

Please feel free to comment at therejected.solojourney.org

As I get older I start to notice more and more that my body doesn’t recover from a night of binge drinking as fast as it use to. I remember when I started college a couple of years ago, a time when I still had my liver in tact; I use to be able to go out with friends on a Sunday night, stay up until 5 or 6 in the morning, get an hour of sleep and then roll out of bed with my contacts glued to my dry eye balls and go to class feeling absolutely fine. Sometimes I would go to class with what I wore the night before just so I can squeeze in that extra 20 minutes of sleep. Nobody really noticed, except for that one time when I had this bright orange stain on the back of my shirt. There was no way it could have been my own vomit (I usually don’t vomit, unless I was drinking tequila). It would’ve been anatomically impossible for me to do an exorcist-like 360 head turn and vomit on myself, although that would’ve been an excellent party trick. Oh my friends knew the whole time, but failed to inform me of it. Looking back on it now, I hope to god it was puke and not something else... Click here to read the rest!

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