The Leodisian Life...

[yeliab_cram]

Greetings one and all,

As I have just found myself a new avtar, and have been stuck at the same desk revising for 2 weeks now, i have decided to tell my story, to vent my anger and generally rant at nobody in particular.

Of course, unlike many of these blogs, I am not telling you about my quest to get into med school, or my reactions when I get there. No. I am already here, so before i start ranting, I had better fill you in. But as you dont really care, I shall keep it brief... a prologue if you will - an abstract of my medical career to date!

I am Marc, I was born on nice British summers' day in June of 1984, which was not a good year for Tuscan wine, I'm told, but it was the year that brought us the introduction of the apple mac - bless! I was born in St Mary's Hospital in Manchester, grew up in Cheadle, and went to school at Cheadle Hulme School.

Four years ago (almost exactly actually!) I was going through what a lot of you are going through right now... medical interviews - argh! I applied to med school with 7A*s and 2As at GCSEs and a AAA prediction for my A-levels, although i only got AAB in the end - bloody chemistry synoptic paper, damn you! Anyway, I applied to Leeds, Birmingham, Manchester and Edinburgh for medicine (in that order), and for some, largely unknown reason I chucked in an application for anatomy/physioogy at Leeds (I wanted to come to Leeds!) and Neuroscience at Nottingham (to this day I still dont really know why I did that).

Anyway, I got interviews at Birmingham, Manchester and Leeds, and a flat out rejection from Edinborough, which was fine, I didnt really want to go anyway, I wanted to go to the other three, and chose Edinborough because i didnt want to attend an interview somewhere where i didnt actually want to go!

My Birmingham interview was a 'nice chat' they didnt even ask "why medicine" or anything remotely challenging, I was slightly perturbed, all that travelling across the country for tea and biscuits. The Manchester interview is a story in itself which I shall leave for a rainy day and the Leeds interview was the box standard mix of niceties and challenge.

I got offers of AAB from Manc, Bham and Leeds; my first choice was Leeds, second was Birmingham, and i didnt bother with Manchester as by then I had decided thet PBL wasn't for me.

Right, so I came to Leeds... and like all good first episodes, I shall now leave you crying, "but what happened next???!!" as I have to go out.

EDIT: Thought I'd add a mugshot for u (at the start)

[yeliab_cram]

oh dear god!

most rediculous evening in the world ever, well not really, but it was rather annoying. So I popeed round to a friends house to watch Almost Famous, on DVD. The film is about two hours long... took us nearly 3 to watch nearly all of it. It crashed every time we reached the end of a scene... every time, without fail.

It started off as mildly annoying, we had to fast forward and rewaing again. By the second half of the film, the whole DVD player was crashing, we had to unplug it, start the film again and skip to the relevant scene.

I swear, i wanted to use the DVD and/or DVD player to wreak vengence on the world. However as we were tired, we just decided to quit and go home.

Shame... it such a nice film.

[yeliab_cram]

well, once again, reading about the intricacies of APP cleavage in Alzheimer's Disease has lead me to continue my story...

So, I got into Leeds, which was exactly where I wanted to be. My reasons were quite simple. It was a new integrated course, it was not PBL, they still did full body dissection and the social scene was good. I was very happy to be there.

I must admit, that now, i cant really remember that much of first year, i spent a lot of it drunk and trying to pretend to look like i was working, when i wasnt. It was quite a drag actually, we did a lot of biochemistry which didnt seem to have any bearing on my life, and genetics and other random bits and bobs. I mean i remember by first tutorial in medschool was on lysosomal storage diseases :s I mean come on, what are the odds of me EVER seeing one of those unless i specialise in some random area of genetics.

Anyway I am not going to bore you with the events of my first or second years as they were largely uneventful. I passed the exams quite happily, found that I was particularly good at spot tests, and didnt really like end of year MCQs.

It was once we got into hospitals full time (i say full time, it was actually 4 days a week, always need one day for PPD ) things began to get much more interesting. I had a GI medicine firm in the LGI (thats the big shiny Leeds General Infirmary for those who dont know) a cardiology firm in Pinderfields, which is in Wakefield, where i can testify there is a hospital, a field, a nice Mexican restaurant and a roundabout. And finally a breast and endocrine general surgery firm in St James.'

So generally a pretty good mixed bag. On reflection, (reflecting being such an integral part of the medical profession) my most memorable moments would have to be -

1) having to put in an NG tube in the first week, when i didnt really know what one was, and had never seen one before.

2) Actually being given some responsibility by some of the PRHOs who were happy to share their little jobs with us, which was nice.

3) Removing someone's big toenail in theatre, quite possibly the most brutal thing ive had to do as yet, but closely followed by...

4) my first catheter: A male alcoholic in resus in A&E, shocked with haematemesis, think he had varices as i recall, the reg was fighting to get a central line in, and the consultant decided that i would be putting the cathater in. Despite the fact i had never done one before, good teaching opportunity he thought, you know amid the chrisis. (It reminded me of that scene in Crimson Tide when the sub captain [Gene Hackman] decided to run a missle drill straight after a torpedo attack)

It was a strange experience, to perform i rather invasive personal procedure in resus in A&E surrounded now by many doctors, nurses and suddenly a crowd of other med students who had appeared to watch. It only dawned on my how silly it all was when i was holding the poor bloke's penis waiting for the anaestheitic gel to kick in and had time for a look around. Luckily one of the SHOs had taken pity on me and shown me where the catheters were kept, and was passing me things, which i thought was nice. Anyway my catheter insertion was going like a dream, until i hit the prostate and the patient began to yelp, i went red, i felt silly, but the trusty SHO told me not to worry, and just keep shoving, so i did, in it went, and piss flowed... all over the place.

Oh well you cant do everything perfectly!

[yeliab_cram]

so, chatting about my time in third year made me think about my OSCE.

Quite possibly the most insane, intense, and intruiging exam I have ever experienced. So I had been practising my examinations on anything willing, ranging from patients to my teddy bear (who now has one gammy leg... think i went a bit ott when getting him to extend and flex his ankle... desperate times call for desperate measures, it wasn'y long before my housemates got bored with me examining them).

the thing with an OSCE is, its completely unnatural - you have to learn one method for real life, and another super quick, super efficient method for the I'm-a-seal-so-I-will-jump-through-a-hoop medical exam system. you have to do everything in the grand total of 6 minutes.

Its quite different having an exam where you have to perform for 3hours non-stop, but once I'd gotten over my inital nerves and uncertanty, i actually quite enjoyed it. You have practiced so much that you could do it in you sleep, and I found myself thinking odd things like "this bloke's chest is all stubbly, thats a bit ming"

The hard bit was keeping up the momentum; i mean i flew through the first 6 or so stations on adrenaline, but after that I calmed down, and probably got a bit complacent. Its shattering, I mean, imagine doing none stop examinations and histories for the duration of one of the Lord of the Rings Films, its mad!

So I survivied the OSCE, got through my summer SSM - which was looking at the risk factors for acute confusion following vascular surgery. It was actually quite cool, I had to vascular surgeon supervisors, and they pretty much just let me get on with it. I was my own boss, saw my own patients, was allowed to write up my own bloods. Was doing it for 5weeks so I got to know all the Drs and other staff pretty well. It was a really nice break from revision, OSCEs and firms.

At the end of it, i did try to get a paper published in the BJS but they seem to think the underlying methodology is 'fundamentally flawed' so the manuscript is currently sitting on my desk waiting to be reformatted to try again in the European Journal of Vascular Surgery. So we shall see, either way, it was a good experience.

[yeliab_cram]

So... my blatherings thus far bring us to the precipise of my intercalated BSc. It is currently doing my head in, and i can't be doing with talking about it, so i shall explain why I am intercalating and why i chose anatomy another day.

for now, I thought I would tell you a bit more about me. I have a number of hobbies, one of them is film. Now i dont just mean i like going to the cinema once a week to watch mass produced congealed Hollywood crud. No. I am into classic and contemporary film, (as long as its not too contemporary!). As a result of my interest in film, people often ask me what my favourite film is, and i am never really sure.

Now why am i chatting such random directionless babble? Well it is quite simple, I was watching Layer Cake this evening [if you haven't seen it, I truly recommend it, a modern classic of a British gangster film; definately up there with Lock Stock] and it made me wonder what actially IS my favourite film.

When asked I normally respond with "The Godfather" undeniably a classic (both 1, 2 and in my humble opinion 3 as well. I know it was slated at the time, but i happen to quite like it, i think the scene where Pacino confesses his sins to the priest is one of the best in the whole trilogy). Despite this it is not a film i could watch every week; neither is Layer Cake, or Lock Stock.

The Shawshank redmetion is most definately powerful and intense and beautifully acted, but it is a heavy film and I have realised as of late, that my official favourite film should be something I could watch every week, or every day, becase it makes me smile. You know one of those films with a warm fuzzy feeling inducing quality.

Of these I can think of but 4:

1) Garden State
2) Almost Famous
3) Amile

actually, 3, i scrubbed American Beauty; although its a good film, i couldnt keep watching it. So there you have it, 3 films i think are more than just little stories, but films about life, and three very different takes on them. I truly recommend you have a peek. Im going to waffle on about them now...

I love Garden State. I will be honest, when I first saw Scrubs, i didnt find it that funny, I didnt really 'get' it. But once I had seen this film it all made sense to me lol! Now this film isnt perfect, in fact i think the last 20mins are so are a bit cliche, but for the large part it is just wonderful. It has an innate surrealist quality, with various moments that are just magical. Braff is fantastic, Natalie Portman is adorable and wonderfully measured, and it has a very inciteful little dialogue between the two of them in a pool, which is starting to reflect how i feel at this stage in my life. Braff says:

"that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. "

so maybe im just a big softie, but I like that!

Almost Famous, I watched again yesturday, again it is just lovely, this time it explores life through music, and it contains one of my favourite scenes of any film. They are on the tour bus, and the band has just had a big bust up. In the background the Elton John song 'Tiny Dancer' starts to play. As the bus drives, the pissed off band members slowly start to smile, and slowly start to sing along; its great. I love it!

Last, but most definately not least: Amelie or to give it its proper title 'Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le' It is a French film, about a girl in Paris with a very odd outlook on life. It brings you the world through her eyes, and you watch her help these random people sort their lives out, but she aint so good with her own. It is one of those love it or hate it films, I love it. I honestly think it would be one of the absolute greatest films of all time, if it didnt have that sodding line in it about orgasms!!!!

so if you read this far im well impressed! hope you enjoyed my brief interlude into my world of film. Im sure I will bring you back soon enough! until then im going to bed. well actually im going to go and read - im reading the final book in the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy series (the 5th book in the trilogy... if your confused by that sentance either a) go read the books, or b) drop me a PM and i'll explain ) Goodnight!

*i just realised i never answered my question, i never said what my favourite film was....... oh well.

[yeliab_cram]

Merry Xmas everybody. I have (quite rightly i feel) taken today off from the menial task of revising stuff i dont care about. I did what all good students do on a day off... slept.

so now feeling lathargic and generally unmotivated to do very much at all, i though i would explain just why i decided to put myself through this year, which, so far, has been very much like trying to squeeze Pavarotti into a wetsuit.

I have always had in interest in Surgery, i dont really know where exactly it stems from, but its was how i linked my DT A-level to a carrer as a doctor: its always good to keep the hand eye co-ordination at the top of its form. It has been a keen interest since i started medical school; in fact this brings me an epiphony i had the other day whilst sitting on the toilet... (my housemate stongly disagrees that it was an epiphony, on reflection, im sticking with it):

It was a great moment of clarity, where the fog cleared and a comment made to me three years previously by the subdean of the medical school during an 'appraisal' suddenly made sense. It would appear that somewhere deep the the dark dank recesses of my cerebral cortex, a few neurons had been contemplating this comment for three years!

During this appraisal, the subdean asked if i had any idea what branch of medicine i wanted to go into, i said i was interested in surgery. Now he was very complementary of my grades and things and he said "well Marc, I think your an embryonic surgeon" anyway I have been pondering WTF an embyonic surgeon is ever since. I've asked around in the hospitals, doctors, nurses, other medical studnets, nobody knows what an embryonic surgeon is.

So this brings me to my epiphony... whilst sitting on the great porcelin chair, staring at the cracks in the floor tiles, my brain suddenly woke me up (i guess it was one of those things where the frontal lobe is concentrating on something mondane freeing up the rest of the cortex to be clever!) in that moment i realised, there was no such thing as an 'embryonic surgeon.' No, he was being a clever arse, and it took me 3years to see it, he was saying a was an embryonic surgeon, a surgeon in the earliest stages of develpment. I AM A FOETUS!!!!!!

you follow?

So my surgical career could fo with the added weight of a BSc to help it along. It came down to clinical sciences (where i could do proper research, but be bored senseless the rest of the time) or anatomy (where there was no proper research but i was told that i would have a profound understanding of anatomy and it wuld help with my career). So obviously i went for anatomy, i thought, at the very least it will look good on my CV, even if it all goes tits up, and i learn nothing, it will look like i know lots of anatomy, which cant be a bad thing, can it?

[yeliab_cram]

So, my plan for the evening was to go and sit in a pub with a nice pint with a few of my old friends from this neck of the wood who were supposed to be home for Xmas. Unfortunately, one of them is stuck down in London, one is stuck doing a family thing, one is working, and the other we think, but are not entirely sure, is in Spain.

I always think its funny when you come home home (ie where you used to live before you up-shipped to uni). You have to kind-of re-invent or rekindle old friendships which become ragged and stringy as the years go on. I mean after my first year, you could just slot back into old life and carry on as normal, but with each passing year, each time i come home there seem to be less and less people about and less and less for us to do!

To solve this dilemma I decided to call up an old school friend on Wednesday, and we decided we would call up another couple of old school people who we hadn't seen in 3/4 years and go out for a drink. Now, I usually find that when I do something like this - which seems like a good plan - i end up with nothing to say to my old friend, as i find we have sweet FA in common anymore. However, for once, that wasnt the case, we carried on right where we left off 3 and a bit years ago. We even managed to bump into an extra 8-9 other of our old school year who were in the same bar. Its funny how much all our lives have changed, yet when we are all together we still flip back into our school day roles. I am thoroughly looking forward to our next proper school reunion, i really would love to know where some of my old friends are (the ones i havent kept in with).

I liked my school; i look back on it now with a strange sunny nostalgia. Whenever I bump into anyone i was at school with they always make the effort to have a chat and exude a lovely warmness that you just dont really find in many places. And as its Christmas eve, i thought it was a nice waffling thought to have

[yeliab_cram]

Wizzard: "Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day"

really? I dont! after eating rather too much turkey (we have now had 4 meals of it, and all the novelty has worn off!) drunk a wee bit too much wine and watched far far far too many random xmas films, i think its safe to say, enough xmas for one year, bring on 2006!

not that im bitter, but you must understand that i just watched the little shop of horrors for the umpteenth time, and was rather peterbed that the great escape was not on once this chrismas, i mean come on what is happening to this country!! I actually spend most of Xmas sleeping, its the first proper time off i have had since September and I used it most sucessfully i felt - eating, sleeping and crapping, twas like being a child all over again!

anyway, back to the rubbish TV, left over mince pies and the yule log which seems to be developing snow which didnt used to be there... maybe its mould... maybe an xmas miracle... maybe both

[yeliab_cram]

It is official, Xmas is well and truly over; back to hard core working = Today I have been ploughing on with a lovely module entitled "developmental neurobiology" i was obviously on some highly illegal class A drug when i signed up for it, as i dont like neurology and hate embryology, yes still chose to go for it - i think the clue to what lay in store was in the name! needless to say - D'oh!!!

anyway after spending my day reading about absurdly named cell signalling molecules and proteins i thought I would give you a quick rundown of the top 5. coming in at number 5 is 'the enhancer of split" closely followed at number 4 by 'suppressor of hairless' in at 3, its the pair, sprouty 1 and sprouty 2... at 2) its hedgehog and top of the chart today... at number 1, it is Sonic Hedgehog - I kid you not, a key signalling molecule in the development and patterning of the nervous (and other) systems is named after a small blue spikey hedgehog with a strange fetish for gold rings: the world works in mysterious ways.

As im sure you can guess, I am not having the most enthrawling of days; this has not been helped by the addition of the most stupid discussion in the history of the world, re: nurses and doctors. im not quite sure where it came from but a conversation about why one would become a doctor as opposed to a nurse descended into abberant and vicious defense of nurses and all that they are worth and a rather misguided attack on doctors. It was all very 'handbags at dawn' and a little unecessary. However being one who is perfectly able to laugh at others, as well as myself, i though id pop in a link so I, and you all can read it and giggle, either now, or at a later date (you see, i may want to 'reflect' later on!)

Silly DOCTORS vs NURSES Debate

please feel free to join in, and/or send me your comments on the back of a postcard... im here all week, longer if you are lucky.

In other news, im not sure what the white stuff on the yule log was, the test results arent back yet, but it didnt stop me eating it; hence you may never hear from me again... lucky you i suppose!

[yeliab_cram]

wow, how uncanny is that... todays post was put up EXACTLY 24hours after yesturdays...cue creepy music of the twilight zone!

WIERED!