The Campaign!

[MollyMouse]

Does anyone know how to get confident quick? I need to grow about 5 inches and then people might take me seriously! Feeling fairly sorry for myself right now, so be warned.

Went to work despite having (?being) a pain in the neck. I am just so bored at home, I had to do something. I really hope you lot aren't all arrogant and obnoxious like some of the doctors where I work. They make me feel like the lowest of the low.

I need to try have more faith in myself. My mom woke me up this morning to inform me something had come from Lincoln. It was only a prospectus though. Maybe I'm not worth anything other than a minimum wage job.

That's all for now before this gets REALLY depressing.

[MollyMouse]

I'm pretty annoyed right now. I went to my GP this morning, I was the first patient on his list, yet had to wait 20 minutes (not too bothered about that) and then when he saw me, I started explaining what was wrong, he interrupted, glanced at my neck, touched it (the wrong side) and said the muscles were solid, in spasm. I tried to explain it was all down my back as well, and could he suggest something I could take as I can't take NSAIDs. He prescribed something called Powergel. Oh, and before this, I collected a repeat prescription. The dose was reduced from 150mg to 75mg in January, and ever since, my repeat prescription has still come back to me with 150mg on it. I've told my GP this about 4 times, and keep crossing out the 150 and putting 75 there. So this morning I made sure he changed it on the pc.

I went to fetch my prescriptions and as I sat in the car I thought I'd better just save myself some time and make sure I wasn't allergic to the Powergel. It had something called something-profen in the ingredients list, so I went back to the pharmacy and they said it's in the same family as ibuprofen, i.e. an NSAID. This isn't the first time I've been prescribed something I'm allergic to. I AM SO ANNOYED! What if I didn't check the ingredients? What if I didn't recognise the 'profen' suffix? I'd be swelling up right now. Fair enough, I could have asked the GP if it was safe to take it, but the reason I asked for something other than a non-steroidal was because I'm allergic to them. Shouldn't HE have checked? Wouldn't it be highlighted on my notes?

Grr Grr Grr. So now I have to wait for him to prescribe something else.

I feel ineffective, walked-over, and like it's my fault. And he said it's fine to go to work, as long as my workstation is ergonomic. Don't people LISTEN?! My workstation is anything BUT ergonomic, hence a 10 month history of back spasms and now neck and back spasms.

On a more positive note, I have an interview (job not uni) on the 6th of June. So if that goes okay, I might not have to do this job anymore. I really wanted to know about uni first though, because I don't want to lie and make a commitment to a different job if I know I might not be there for too long.

Sorry for the whingeing, but I need to whinge!

Off to work.

[MollyMouse]

I had a dream that the course director from the KL Access course wrote to me telling me off for advising prospective students as I was providing misinformation. He also said he was going into physiotherapy!! For anyone who knows the course director, you'd know how funny that is!

Yesterday was lovely and hot, but hospitals are unbearable in the heat. I hope air conditioning is going to happen, otherwise I'm going to single handedly consume all the Twister lollies in the hospital shop. May I just say YUM?! They should make pineapple icecream in tubs ...

No news no news ... la la la la la

Although for some reason I received a whole package of information from St George's University in the West Indies ... it looks like a lovely place to live, but the PRICES gasp, shock, horror!

I'm off into town to replace my Converse's. I might get the shoes this time, since boots and summer aren't all that compatible. I have some other faffing about to do, and then I'm meeting a friend and going to watch a movie. The title escapes me at present. Popcorn is likely to be involved, as is a post-movie delight of sticky toffee pudding a la Pizza Hut ...

[MollyMouse]

The popcorn was too salty! (Well, the top half was: I like half and half, like dinner and dessert). The movie was good but I had to concentrate hard! Not easy at the moment. It was called The Jacket and was pretty terrifying in parts. I don't think Keira Knightley is a very good actress, and I'm not just saying that because I'm jealous of her stunning-ness!!

Found a South African shop in town yesterday, so I stocked up on some much-missed goodies. What a find!

It was wayyyyyy too busy in town so I didn't end up buying the shoes. OH my life is SO exciting!

Today has been spent rather productively, even if I do say so myself. Lots of laundry, dishes, tidying up and such. I love being productive. My cat (MollyMouse) has been going AWOL a lot and I've been worried, but yay she is back. I made sure to give her half a tin of tuna to remind her she likes living here. I hope it works!!

Off downstairs to see if there's anything worth watching on tv. More than likely not, so I will have to make do with some papers I didn't get chance to read during the week.

[MollyMouse]

Long time no update.

Still no news a la Lincoln.

Had a job interview last week. It went okay, I got to wear a labcoat. Granted, it was seventeen sizes too big, but hey! Went on a tour of the labs and got grilled by two senior BMSs. When I'm nervous I tend to waffle crappily, and hey presto! I waffled on crappily on the wrong side of MRSA. If I don't get the job, I'm blaming that mistake.

There's not a lot to report. The postman's in my bad books as he hasn't brought me anything for a few days. I'm thinking Lincoln will only get in touch once I've contacted their disability team. (If anyone's reading this and has any experience of med school + disability/health problems, PLEASE pm or email me as I would love to talk about some of the things I am experiencing/have experienced.)

That's about all. My social life is dismal. My patience is worse. I want to make plans, sort my future out, damnit. Maybe it wouldn't seem too pushy now if I phoned Lincoln and asked for a rough date I can expect to hear from them by. 6 weeks since they got my application.

[MollyMouse]

Just emailed the admissions tutor at Lincoln. Hopefully he will give me a rough idea of when I should hear anything. Just about to phone the disability people too, as well as book my driving theory test.

Thank you to those who emailed/pm'd regarding my previous update, I will reply soon.

[MollyMouse]

Today is a goooooooood day for MollyMouses the world over! Okay. Maybe there's just one, but this MollyMouse has had a good day.

Passed my theory test this morning. Woot.

Have an interview for Lincoln/Nottingham on the 12th of July. WOOTWOOTWOOT!

I am ecstatic In fact will not suffice. ----- that's more indicative of my affect.

[MollyMouse]

Had a nice lie-in this morning til around 09:30, which helped me catch up from the hectic week. Just phoned the student finance direct line but was kept on hold for an age, so I hung up. It appears I have missed the deadline (1 July) but it shouldn't be a problem.

I had a funny penny-dropping session yesterday. I had bought a top without trying it on, I was in a rush so I just grabbed my size, and when I got home and tried it on I was baffled that it was so big. I was certain they'd made a mistake and was going to take it back and exchange it. I had it in the bag and someone spotted it, asking if it was the new range of clothes at Marks and Spencers (I have never bought clothing there in my life). I know their funkier range is called Per Una, but the bag and label say Per Una Due' (with an accent on the 'e') I then realised I had bought a maternity top!! I was debating whether to save it til I became pregnant one day or not, but I think I will probably go back and see if they have it in the non-preggie range. Lots of people at work are pregnant, and I can't wait til my time comes. I just love kids. When I'm pregnant I'm going to wear dungarees, that has been my aim in life since I was about six! Pregnant women always look so healthful and radiant. It's lovely.

I got a really sweet compliment from a little boy who came to the charity shop's first birthday yesterday. I was offering him a piece of cake and poured him some orange juice and he said, "You are a very nice lady, you are very friendly and polite"!!! I was quite taken aback, bless him. I had two pieces of cake (oink) and you know when you get that funny feeling in your head when you eat something just that bit TOO sweet? Well I got that. It's similar to an ice-cream headache, but different. Serves me right!

Had a review with my consultant who immediately wanted to know how my "career" was coming along (ie. whether I had a place at med school again) ... I told him about UCL and then about Nottingham, and he seems pretty pleased that if all goes to plan I will be able to keep seeing him. We didn't change my medication but he says if my symptoms are still remitted in 6-12 months, I can start coming off it. He also says I can decide on my own whether to increase the dose when I need to and just to let him know if/when I do. That was empowering and I appreciated it.

Things to do, people to see, forms to fill in, Live 8 concerts to watch, maternity tops to return, birthday presents to purchase, lunch to prepare, caffeine to consume ...

[MollyMouse]

I woke up this morning to bad news. A friend of mine's partner was admitted to hospital with suspected appendicitis and now only has a few months left to live. Apparently she has a very aggressive form of cancer, which started in her ovaries and has spread to her bowel, liver and lungs. The doctors say she has only had it for a few months

Tomorrow is my interview. I hope it goes well and the nerves don't get the better of me. Feel free to send positive vibes my way!

[MollyMouse]

I'm afraid I don't have anything too positive to report. I have just found out that the person I wrote about in my previous update passed away last night, about and hour and a half after I phoned my friend. She answered the phone abruptly and said it wasn't a good time and hung up. I am in shock, I had only met Alison a few times, but I know that she was my friend's rock, her whole world. I can't imagine how she is going to get through this. I can't believe it happened so suddenly. I suppose life is like the ocean. Magnificent and beautiful. More powerful than we realise sometimes. We need to treat it with great respect.

I don't know whether my interview went averagely or badly. Definitely not well. As peaceful_blossom and a.s. can attest to, I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. The interviewers grilled my butt off and I was very nervous to start off with, to the point of my mouth not being under my conscious control (you know that feeling when you're about to cry but you have to talk? Maybe it's a unique thing ... it sort of wobbles and feels all strange and then the chin joins in on the action). It also went very dry.

They are interviewing 7 people for the last 2 places. I will know the outcome in two weeks. The professor from Nottingham asked me an "off the record" question about my health, trying to emphasise that it was definitely off the record, but it was clear that it was nothing of the kind.

Rest in peace, Alison. You were one of the good ones.