I start my blog at the lowest i've ever felt in my life. Should I be writing, and telling the world of my woes? Probably not, but i feel like I have no one to tell, even though there are many to tell. And because of my isolation, if the only object who will listen to me is one who is virtual, then so be it.

Am I suicidally depressed? No. Because quite honestly I don't see why i would be. I am studying a subject I have strived to study for at least four years, I am academically able and well (so far) and I have friends who care for me. Yet each term I have been at university (two so far), has gotten worse. I am not a loner, or at least I hope outsiders do not consider me a loner, yet I feel alone. Why is this?

It has so happened that progressively in the last two terms, five of my male friends have 'fallen' for me, with four of them being my 'best' friends. But of course, that is subjective, since can you have best friends after just two terms? Slowly, the friendships have been rebuilt, but it doesn't erase the fact that once they were in ruins. Because they are not exactly the same as before (I am asking for too much, i know), i feel troubled. I have seemingly, lost very good friends, hence my isolation. What can I do to make things better? Or, how can I make myself feel better? All these friends have other people they can fall back on, but I, well, i have no one. I have a distinct lack of female friends. Is this because I don't try with my friends? Should I have put more effort into my friendships? Yet, i was fine at school...

That's a horrible feeling in this world of +6 billion people. Being alone.