Medicine "oop North"

[M Clayton]

As the title suggests; I want to be the first to try this whole blog thingy out. :lol:

I'm going to experiment with different styles and, you never know, I might settle into something that I'm comfortable with. Just bear with me please!

Work today was a real bitch! The telephone didn't stop ringing for the entire duration of the day, the printer jammed, the shredder decided to go into reverse and spit paper flakes all over the floor, and I had to destroy 40 or so prescriptions because the computer decided to issue it's very own, special medication to everyone - I can see a future for this method of treatment, surely it can't get it wrong all the time.

On top of all that, the fax machine decided that today was an excellent day to continue its vendetta against me and I had to deal with arsey patients, doctors and pharmaceutical reps...

I love my job! :P

On the medical student front; I have finally begun to add some stuff to my learning portfolio - I'm feeling very reflective today. Ha! My quest to have all medical students/prospective medical students recruited into St John Ambulance continues apace and I have just remembered that I owe an unknown person (Who is MN???) a very long e-mail reply and I haven't yet bothered to complete it! whoops ops:

Currently Reading: The back of a cornflake packet
Current Music: The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (come on, it is summer after all!)

[M Clayton]

I love weekends - no mind numbing work for me!!! 8)

Saturdays are my favourite day since, despite their weeked status, Sundays are, without exception, boring and a real waste of 1/7th of my week.

Anyways, I'm drifting off tangentially as I often do, so should probably try and get back on topic.

Woke up nice and early this morning (9 o'clock is early for a weekend!!) and proceeded to wander around in a daze for a couple of hours before realising that the day should really start with breakfast. An almostly comically large bowl of Coco Pops was poured and liberally doused in semi skimmed milk.

Mmmm, I love coco pops. :lol: (See what I mean about tangents??)

Full of coco pops and tea (made in a style approved by George Orwell no less) I determined that a shave and shower might be useful. Having dragged a sharp piece of metal across my face for ten minutes or so, I decided that the "Hacked to pieces" look would definitiely be in this summer and therefore I wouldn't look stupid.

Whilst thick wafts of scented steam flowed out of the bathroom and around the house (setting off the smoke detectors in the process - whoops!) I remembered that I was, in fact, supposed to be on duty at the local village fete thingy today. Assuming that there was plenty of time til I was due to sign on duty, I continued to wander around my house (clothed of course! ) and pretty much waste time.

When I looked at my watch, it was midday.

Bugger! There was only half an hour left for me to get ready and get down to the event! You wouldn't believe how amazingly quickly I was able to iron my shirt (the front only) and trousers and dress myself. I was almost smart when I left the house.

I made it to Hessle Feast just in time to sign on without getting myself in trouble for being late. Success - but I expected nothing less. I'm a man that lives on the edge

As a medical student, I get to do all the fun stuf on duty, but only when there's a doctor present to supervise me - no such luck today so I was placed with two other members and tasked to operate as a foot patrol until someone else arrived to take my place. As always happens when I have my first aid kit equipped with "extra goodies" (steth, sphyg, airways and AED) nothing happened! Nothing at all.

Yawn.

Then the young cadet I was supervising uttered the words that I never want hear on duty, "I'm bored. I wish something would happen". This is the kiss of death for most duties - it almost always goes down hill from this point forward.

Thankfully my replacment arrived and I was placed with Anna, a student nurse, in the first aid post. This was possibly not a good idea, since whenever we work together we come across some major incident or other!

But not today...

That's not to say that there wasn't a lot to do, because there was. We had someone in the first aid post requiring treatment of some description for pretty much the whole afternoon. I changed dressings for a little old lady who had had a carcinoma removed from the bridge of her nose, emptied and repositioned a urine bag for the sweetest little old man on the planet, dressed an ankle wound for a newly diagnosed gentleman with diabetes and then chatted to him for the next hour and treated an inumerable array of blisters and grazes. I also assisted Anna with sorting out a teenage boy who had managed to get paint in his eyes!

Joy!

Finally, 5 o'clock came and I gladly closed down the first aid post and went home, getting extremely "rained on" in the process.

Currently Reading: The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat, Oliver Sacks, and the paracetamol protocol (!)

Currently Eating: Aniseed Balls!

Currently listening to: Counting Crows, Mrs Potters Lullaby

Did you read all that? wow! well done, you did better than I did.

[M Clayton]

Today started badly.

Somebody had eaten all the Coco Pops so I had to make do with Cornflakes I'd much rather have had a bowl of Coco Pops.

However, every crowd has a silver lining, and the Cornflake incident unwittingly played into my hands and allowed me to remark on the origins of said cereal. Did you know that Dr Kellog was quite clearly off his rocker and intended Cornflakes to prevent onansim?? And on that happy note, I promise that this entry will contain absolutely nothing else of academic and/or pub quiz value. That's right, what follows will be 100% useless!

With that less than inspiring start, you'd have thought that today would be a dead loss - heck, I'd even suggest going straight back to bed if you told me that that was how your day had begun. But no, the fighter that am I, I stuck with it.

Why didn't I go back to bed???

With my older sister incapacitated in her delicate post op state (what a mint excuse for wholesale sloth-like behaviour), my younger sister at work (haha, silly girl, doesn't she know that weekends are for lying in, not working?) and my brother's crippling laziness (One day, I will find a cure)the housework was left in my incapable hands. After bodging the kitchen cleaning and then having my ear chewed off for leaving streaks on the dining table, I abandoned all hope of successfully completing this Big Brother-esque challenge and came upstairs to sulk.

Sulking is quite boring work all told and I have the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD at the best of times, so I soon got bored of mooching around upstairs and went to finish my "chores". That done I got conned into examining the lung fields and op site (which has absolutely nothing to do with her lungs!!) for my sister - honestly, the things I do for family!

You'll be pleased, no doubt, to learn that her lungs were nice and clear and that she's just being a difficult patient It also looks like her sutures might be about ready to come out

All my thankless tasks complete, I got showered. Those of you that are observant will be thinking "what about the smoke alarms?".That's a damn good question, but I'm one step ahead of you on that one (I'm not a medical student for no reason you know ) I disabled the smoke alarms for the duration of my steam production and, leaving the bathroom in a state that only my brother and myself can manage, rearmed them without incident.

Score one for me!

I was feeling good. I'd beaten the smoke alarms and felt ready to take on my current adversery - the Newcastle webmail service. :twisted:

Half an hour, much swearing and a substantial amount of my hair later, and I'm still not into the webmail service.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Yes, that about sums it up I feel.

Frustrated, my ego bruised and in need of a hair piece (something in a nice mullet may be good...) I abandoned all attempts to get into webmail and switched off the computer.

My attentions turned to paperwork - Lord save me from paperwork!!

Do you need me to tell you how that went? With today's form, I think you can guess. Let's just say it went slowly...

I heartily recommend tearing up paperwork every once in a while - it's incredibly theraputic.

So that was my wasted day. Exciting eh??

As promised, not one ounce of useful material. I keep my promised you see

Oh, before I sign off, anyone got an idea where I can get a cowbell ...

[M Clayton]

Just a very short entry today since I'm one hell of a rush!

I'm off to Matt and Annas very soon and I won't be bacl online until Thursday at the earliest.

You'll miss me, I know

Today has been a day full of packing - for holidays and for the Yorkshire Show Duty tomorrow. I'm nowhere near finished, but what can you do??

Oh no! Out of time already!

If I don't get chance to write before I go on holiday, have fun everyone!

See you soon!!

[M Clayton]

I'm back from my "browning" and have lots to tell you.

For now, this little space filler will have to suffice, since I have much to sort out.

435 e-mails??? Come On people!!!

[M Clayton]

Here's a little update to keep you sweet whilst I get round to writing up my hastily scrawled holiday notes. It will get done...

...honest! :roll:

Yesterday (Saturday I think, although I think you'll agree that I can be forgiven for getting days and times wrong due to my jetlag) I awoke to the realisation that I had committed to attending a pre season footbal match at the stadium that afternoon. It really did seem like a good idea at the time I put my name down to cover it. Bleurgh!

Now, I'm sure you're all well aware of that feeling you get when you've imbibed a little too much "magic lemonade" (what a great way my tutor has with words!) the night/morning before (you know, strip of carpet for a tongue, pounding headache, unexplained street furniture in your kitchen...); well, that was exactly how my jetlag felt. Trust me, I was not a pretty sight yesterday morning! But, I scrub up well enough...

The football duty was bad.

First off, the last time Hull played Middlesbrough there was massive crowd trouble, so I had problems convincing the stewards that I was supposed to be in the ground 2 hours before kick off! :x Honestly, where else do they think a guy in hi-vis and St John Uniform is supposed to be?

Then when I actually got in to the First Aid post it was a real state. It looked as though someone had traipsed through a muddy field and then walked all over the chairs, cots and desks. There was absolutely no way that I would ever treat a casualty in those conditions.

The final straw came when I checked the store cupboard and found that three of the six First Aid kits and a bag and mask respirator had been stolen. Of what use is a bag and mask respirator outside of a First Aid room??!! Honestly, some people will steal anything!

You won't believe it, but it got worse. Oh yes, much worse.

Only another 8 members bothered to turn up. This did not include the guy slated to be duty officer, nor the one who was down to bring the defibs with him. By this point I'm finding it very difficult to not scream at somebody, but my legendary cool head prevails ( ) You just know that the day that there isn't a defib on site someone will have an arrest. Fingers very much crossed I feel!

It passed off without incident. The small crowd (only about 5000) meant that we legally had enough members on duty (deffos by accident and certainly not by design!) and it was a very quiet game. No crowd trouble at all and not even a paracetamol request (which has become my forte at large events) so it was looking better.

Can you guess what happened next?

Cardiac arrest? Close, but no cigar.

I got a call to attend a severe asthma attack just as the stadium was emptying. Joy!

I arrived on scene and did everything I was supposed to. Checked the guy's resp rate and depth, had a listen to his lungs and even checked his BP. I got a full history and was feeling pretty good about it. I called the doctor for assistance, since I don't carry salbutamol (or any other drugs for that matter - role on GMC registration) and asked him to administer the meds. Can anyone see what I didn't do??

Yep, I forgot the most basic thing. I didn't take a pulse!!!

Whoops

Oh well. Can't win them all.

And on that note, time for bed!

In case you were wondering, Middlesbrough won 1 - 0 (3rd minute of extra time damnit!!)

Currently listening to: Matchbox 20, Unwell

[M Clayton]

Worship me for now I am officially a consultant. :lol:

Ok, so I'm doing a little Health & Safety consultation for a local GP practice whilst I try to find a new job.

What do you mean "when did I lose my job?"

I always knew it would be temporary - I was only filling the post until a permanent person (I've just reread that and it makes no sense! If I'm not a permanent person, what am I for the times when I'm not a person???) could be found. Well, she was found and now I'm temporarily jobless, although much less poor than I was before. 8)

So, as "Health and Safety" consultant, I'm doing all the auditing and risk assessments that nobody else wants to do. I also have a budget with which to purchase equipment necessary to bring the surgery up to current legislation. Ha!! Me, and a budget!

Mwah ha ha ha! :twisted:

But in all seriousness, I've got plans and there's quite a lot of gear that I've got on order. Most of it is to replac stuff that's expired - drugs such as Epinephrine and Glyceral Trinitrate, and the contents of the basic First Aid Kits.

Now I'm looking into getting an AED for the surgery; the British Heart Foundation say they might be able to help me so we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I kicked major ass regarding my LINKS units finances and I'm feeling quite proactive!

Laters

Currently Watching: Reservoir Dogs (GOOD Film!!)
Currently Listening to: The voices in my head :twisted:
Currently Reading John Grisham, Runaway Jury

[M Clayton]

Bloody T-Shirt Printers!!!! :x

[M Clayton]

Yesterday was very much a cryptic crossword clue don't you think?

Anyone manage to guess what had riled me yesterday??? :?:

8)

I spent a few hours battling with local and national print firms in an attempt to get quotations for some new LINKS duty polo shirts. You'd think it'd be easy wouldn't you? I ring up, tell them my requirements, they give me a quote, right?

Wrong!

They want to talk about fabric weights - do I want 180gsm or 230gsm? Polycotton or 100% cotton? They want to see the artwork first too!

Why must they make my life difficult?? :roll:

In short, I am no closer to having a quote than I was before. Oh well, back to the drawing board!

What did I do today?

I wish I could say that I'd done something to improve the lot of my fellow humans ...

... but I didn't

I wish I could say that I'd worked hard to write up my holiday blog notes ...

... but we all know I'm too lazy to have done that!

I wish I could say that I'd gotten some work done ...

.. but wait, I did! I almost finished my budget proposal for next year for the LINKS group. Yay!!!

Oh, and I went shopping for my mum - someone built a new Morrisons supermarket next door to the old one and knocked it down without telling me!

Yikes, the things they do while you're at uni/slobbing at home ...

Currently Listening to: Ultravox - Vienna (80s electropop anybody??)
Currently Reading: Runaway Jury (still)
Currently Eating: American butter popcorn from my holiday (we brought 15 packs back with us because they were on offer in Walmart!!)

[M Clayton]

2 - 0 to the Hull City!!!

Would you believe that 3rd Division no hopers Hull City managed to get not one, but two goals past the mighty (ok, once mighty) Leeds United and prevent them from scoring once?!?!

I know, it's totally unbelievable! But there'll be a match report online that I can link to, surely!

Hmm, no linkage as yet, but this quote from BBC News Humber will do for now -

Football: Hull City beat Leeds United 2-0 in a pre-season match at the KC Stadium. Ben Burgess and Danny Allsopp were on target for the Tigers.

I'm quite pleased (as you might be able to tell!)

Today was the third day in a row that I have managed to fritter away mindlessly and I have to say that it was great fun...

I cleaned my room, because I felt like it. Managed to wake my dad up with the hoover and got a b*ll*king 'cos he had to get out of bed and unplug it. Oh, don't worry, he works a night shift and isn't just lazy!

I spent this afternoon watching 28 Days Later and sewing badges onto my new St John shirt (I'm beginning to think that I may be obsessed with my St John work - did I mention that I was actually on First Aid duty at the football this evening??)

And that was my "exciting" day!

Tomorrow I'm on duty at the Party in the Park (Not the Party in the Park - the Hull version) and straight onto duty at the Rugby.

On Sunday I'm on a Casualty Handling refresher course - wonderful!

As an aside - Legally Blonde 2??? Do I want to see that she asks? I'd much rather drill a hole into my skull a handily located Black and Decker and then pour liquid hot magma into the vacuous space within.

Peace out.

Currently Watching: Bo' Selecta!
Currently Reading: Are you Dave Gorman (Yay! I finished Runaway Jury and it was good
Currently Browsing: Idly trying to find out who's playing at the concert on September 4th