oh dear

**cottonwool4brains** · 13-11-2008, 02:44 AM

hello! looking for some advice,
I have recently found out that i am pregnant (about 12 weeks) and whilst not an unhappy thing it is certainly a shock. I am a second year medical student in a university i will not name for the minute (i have not told many people yet and dont want them to find out from here). the major problem this causes is that financially i can not afford to take a year out, due to conditions on the bank loan i have taken out to fund this course, however my husband works from home and both of our parents have offered to help if we need it. For these reasons i feel that i will be able to take a minimal time off uni after i have given birth. Although not an ideal situation i felt that this would be acceptable.

wanting to be straight with the medical school i told them about the situation i have found myself in and am now being told that they will 'force' me to take twelve months out, which will include 6 months of pregnancy and seem completely dissinterested in hearing my point of view. This despite the fact that they are currently rearranging placements for people who will be getting married etc next year so that they get time off at that point, they are unable/unwilling to consider doing this for me. I am being told that it is inappropriate for me to be at uni when i have a young child and that i have no idea what it is like to be a parent.

I am not sure where i stand with all of this and was wondering if anyone had a better idea? I am feeling a bit lost and bewildered at the moment.

thank you

**giella** · 13-11-2008, 02:56 AM

I'm not a parent but I think you should inform your student union. They can provide you with representation and maybe put you in touch with legal aid if necessary. They can also find out what the university's official policy on this is.
Get in touch with the loans people and see if it's possible to change your policy.
If you have actually been told that it is inappropriate for you to be at university with a young child, specifically mind, then this is actually illegal. Know your rights in this.

**Granny Midges** · 13-11-2008, 03:00 AM

Firstly congratulations !
Of course it's a bit of a shock, it's normal to feel that way..
I am really surprised and bemused that the uni you are at seem so unsupportive. Surely it's totally discriminatory that they consider it 'inappropriate for you to be at uni when you have a child..' And casting aspertions on your ability as a potential parent is downright ridiculous. How do they know ? It seems like a very strange response indeed. You seem to have the support you need when the baby arrives so where is the problem ?
Who have you spoken to ? Is there anyone else at the school you can talk to like your personal tutor etc ? Get things in writing because this just isn't right.
Good luck,
GM
xx

**Granny Midges** · 13-11-2008, 03:02 AM

PS: You will make a great mommy...
xx

**Kim leanne** · 13-11-2008, 09:28 PM

Congrats. The uni are being ridiculous making you take a year off. As much as it would be lovely to spend a year at home with your little one it is not always possible and many people don't. With your husband working from home and your family helping i can't see why the uni have a problem with it. Go and speak to your student union welfare officer and any other welfare facilities that they offer. My uni has a welfare office linked to the counselling service and a separate union student welfare rep.

Good luck - i'm sure it'll work out in the end.

Kim (2nd year and mum of 2 babas)

**Clarkey** · 14-11-2008, 05:44 PM

Congratulations! I agree with what everyone else has said. Hopefully you'll get the support you need from the university and the medical school will see sense!

Good luck

**welly** · 14-11-2008, 06:07 PM

Hi there,

Firstly - congratulations!
Secondly - I'm pretty sure the university cannot insist on you taking a year out.

I'm also in my second year and gave birth under 3 weeks ago. When I discussed my situation with the university, they were very prepared for me to take a year out, but due to similar circumstances to yourself, that was out of the question.

In the end we have settled that I can come into uni when I feel ready (in reality it has only been in the last 2 days) and I can postpone my exams for a few months if I wish.

They have been nothing but helpful in listening to how I saw the situation and wanted to deal with it.

PM me if you want to for more details.

I can't remember exactly where it is now, but there is a document written by the BMA for pregnant medical students and recommendations for the medical school. Google for it - it is quite useful. I'm pretty sure it doesn't mention insisting on a year out!

Best wishes
Welly

**Kim leanne** · 14-11-2008, 07:03 PM

wow welly! congrats on the baby.
You must be a truely amazing person if you already feel up to lectures etc. The first 3 months are so tough never mind the first 3 weeks - i take my hat off to you.