oh dear

**cottonwool4brains** · 11-01-2009, 02:07 AM

Hello,
i was hoping to have some more definative news about whether or not id be forced to defer or not before posting on here again but the decision has still not been made. I am getting a bit fed up now. I am now told they will make the decision in two weeks time and that i will have to defer from then until next january if that is there decision.

**aspirant doc** · 11-01-2009, 02:35 AM

Originally Posted by cottonwool4brains

I am getting a bit fed up now. I am now told they will make the decision in two weeks time and that i will have to defer from then until next january if that is there decision.

I'm really sorry they are making things harder for you by making you wait. I am a man and therefore a daddy not a woman or mummy but I do have some experience of this; my second child was due to arrive around the time of my end of second year exams and so I asked the medical school a few questions that they found pretty awkward, mainly because they hadn't had to tackle them before. In particular, and amongst other things, I asked about what would happen to my results if my daughter started putting in an appearance in the light of day in the middle of one of my exams and I decided to walk out the exam leaving a half finished exam script; would it count as an official attempt and inevitably fail with the resultant black mark on my academic record? So I do have a few observations that may be relevant and helpful to you:

1. I am 100% certain that this is your decision not theirs. Forcing you to take a year out from a course due to childbirth is illegal. Be very clear about this. They absolutely cannot force you to do this. It is, after all, up to you to complete your studies, they should help you, not hinder you by forcing you to take a year out. Look at it another way; if you hadn't given them as much warning as possible (I know you have) and just suddenly announced your had become a parent, could they legally force you to take a year out? Answer: no!!

2. Just because they are humming and haa-ing about it, it does not mean it will go the way you fear. Remember that universities are unwieldy organisations, big decisions take time, it will require some exam board to be convened to discuss a situation they rarely face (in my case, they had never faced the situation of a father who might walk out of an exam if his child started arriving, but came up with the goods in the end[note that they decided as I suggested originally but it took flipping ages to get common sense ratified]), but it could well work out fine. After all, a lot of the people involved in this uncommon decision are adults/parents!!!

3. Ultimately they do have your interests at heart.

I really do feel for you in your situation and wish you and bump all the very best. Feel free to PM me if you wish to discuss this outside!!

Nick