Marriage in medical school???

[LightElf7]

Well basically, I wondered if anyone finds it realistic to marry whilst still being on studies???

The thing is, medical school goes for 5-6 years, and you'll be something like 23-24 yrs old when you graduate. But to practice as a doctor, you'll need to do that 2 year foundation thingy plus if you're gonna pursue a doctorate and specialize yourself in an area (which leads to the residence period), you'll already be something like early to mid thirties.

The reason I am asking this is cuz I heard of quite a few students who marry still in their early to mid twenties, and have children soon after. This may be ok for students with other degrees, but since medical studies is much longer, i just wondered how med-students' love-life are?

I've heard of people advising that one should'nt be in a relationship during med-school cuz that could potentially distract you from your studies, but then again, if you wait until you're finished with most things, you'll already by 10 years older! (I personally would like to marry and have children before 30).

Anyone with some sound advice?

[moonshine]

Yeah i'd be interested to know peoples views on this too actually... hope theres no one whos going to suggest we shoulda thought about this before deciding to do medicine....

[James]

I got together with my (now) wife in 1st year at med school. We got married in final year and are both now specialist registrars. I have many other friends from med school in a similar situation.

If you let medicine take over so much of your life that it stops you getting in relationships then you will be very miserable.

[chicken66]

I'm planning to get married next year, it'll be at the end of my second second year (reasons for repeating are complex), i plan to have children, and if that happens during med school it happens. I don't feel that my life should be dictated by my studies, there are other people on my course (a GEP) that are married, that have children, some are even divorced, and so i don't see being a medical student as needing to be mutually exclusive to marrying

[Tangliss]

Someone I know who is a second year medic has recently got engaged and plans to marry in her fourth year.

[trouble]

I got married at the end of my 1st year, didnt make a jot of difference to my studies. Please dont let people tell you that medicine should be your life. Yes it should be a part of it but the idea of doing only that for 5 years makes me shudder. TBH i think you would be a pretty rubbish doc if thats the way you decided to play it, everyone need there own life to be able to emphathise and help other with theirs.

[jojoparkin]

I've just finished my first year and have ben engaged since just before I started med school. I've found it very difficult this year and am now dropping out of medicine to do nursing. This is because of the comment about it being several years before you're free to have kids etc. My fiance and I really want children and I realised that medicine is not really compatible with that, since it would be another 6 years before I could even think about that. I'm sure it's entirely possible to get married etc., but extremely difficult (especially since you go 5 years without earning any money!)

[trouble]

I know at east 2 people who have had kids whilst in med school. One of them was still breastfeeding and going to the nursery between lectures to feed her little girl. There are some who will tell you that when your in med school is actually the time to have kids cause by the time your qualified they will be in school.

Everyone is different and i suppose it depends where your priorities lie, if like the people I know you decide you want to be a medical and start a family you will manage to juggle both.

[aspirant doc]

I don't know what to make of any of this to be honest. Is this thread for real or is this a troll?

So what if medical degrees are longer than most degrees? They're only 1 or 2 years longer. What difference does that make?

Plenty of people have children while they are young doctors, not-so-young doctors, senior doctors. It's perfectly possible. Plenty of people have children in jobs that place bigger demands on your time than being a medical student and than being a doctor.

Advice not to be in a relationship to distract you from studies - yeah right! And don't make friends, don't go on holidays, don't drink, don't go to parties, cos they could all distract you too. Come on!

With things like statutory maternity leave, flexible/part time arrangements, it's all possible. Sure, it's not straightforward, but it's perfectly possible.

My personal advice is not to worry about your relationships - enjoy them instead - and realise that there are options, it's not a simple "yes you can get married and have children in medicine" or "no you can't get married and have children in medicine".

I still am not sure this isn't a troll.

[LightElf7]

Advice not to be in a relationship to distract you from studies - yeah right! And don't make friends, don't go on holidays, don't drink, don't go to parties, cos they could all distract you too. Come on!

I agree with you there too, it seems ridiculous, but its something a few people told me in other places. The argument they used is that whilst drinking, making friends, going on holidays, parties etc does not really distract you if you keep them in control (i.e. dont drink too much, etc). But if you've never been in a relationship before (like me), the emotional turmoil caused when a relationship breaks apart (e.g. get dumped) would be great enough as to bring you off from your studies, especially for first-time relationships...and I honestly dont think that this argument is completely invalid although I do have some doubts. confusing