Baby after F1/F2

[Doc Skin]

Hi everyone

I am a 26 year old female, married, no kids. I want to apply for medicine for Sept 2009.

The thing I am concerned about is when to have kids!! Don't want to have a baby before or while at uni or in F1/F2.

So that means I already need to wait 7 years and would be 33 after F2.

I'm just wondering, do you think I would have to take a year out after F2 with no pay to have a baby?

Or should I begin my specialist training in whatever I choose and take maternity leave?

Say I decided to be a GP, maybe it would be difficult to have a pregnancy during the 1st year training? Maybe it will be frowned upon to start training and get pregnant so quickly?

I just don't think I want to wait 10 years to have my first baby! I cannot afford to have one now and also need to get enough hospital work exp to apply for GEP.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Doc Skin]

Sorry forgot to say,

the thing that would worry me about taking a year out after F2 to have a baby is, what if it takes a year to get pregnant, then 9 months pregnant then 6 months staying home with the baby!

Could end up having quite a break from my F2 year until my specialist training!

[469er]

I appreciate this isn't quite the answer you were probably looking for, but my heartfelt advice to you would be to have a baby if/when the time feels right, in terms of what you/you husband want, and to pick up the pieces in terms of your training in whatever way then becomes necessary. This might mean intermitting from your medical degree for a year, taking an unpaid year between medical school, or waiting until well into your 30s to start your family.

I know it isn't very specific advice, but I really feel strongly that you can tie yourself in knots trying to plan ahead, when, as your post makes clear, some things in life do not lend themselves to micro-management. The right time to have a baby is when you feel ready. Sounds like you don't know when that is yet.

I think this is a problem which is coming up more and more, as medicine opens its doors to older applicants. I see so many women in this forum in their 20s/30s agonising about when to have kids. I know 26+ probably seems terribly old when most people here are 18 or so, but really, you have a lot of time ahead of you to make these decisions. I didn't start my family until I was 31, which is pretty normal for professional women, but equally, most medical schools now seem open to being flexible if someone needs to take a year out to have a baby.

To me, the clue to all of this is in your post. You say you can't afford to do it now, but don't want to do it at med school, during foundation training, and neither do you want to wait till your mid-30s - something's got to give! I think you need to accept that something non-ideal is going to have to happen. I'm sure you will know what is the right compromise to make when the time comes.

[Doc Skin]

Hi 469er

Thanks for the advice I guess we have to just wait and see when the time is right for us, emotionally and financially.

There never really seems to be the right time to have a baby with all the plans that lie ahead, I guess I'll just have to see how it goes.

Right now the thought of having a baby at uni seems scary, but maybe when I'm there it will seem like a realistic option.

My main worry is you cannot plan how well the pregnancy goes or what the baby will be like. My mum was very ill and couldn't work when she was pregnant with my brother. When my sister came along she cried constantly. So neither of those situations would be great while at uni, so I think I will probably try to wait until after.

[hollyoaker]

I think that you get maternity pay from the NHS as long as you have one year of service before the date of conception. I don't know if that would mean you would have to stay with the same trust or hospital or whatever for F1/2 and ST.

[Simon]

i think that's very true what you said - there never really seems to be the right time to have a baby. it is very tricky for doctors, and much moreso for women in medicine. however, people do it at ALL stages of their training; a woman in my year had her child about a month before beginning first year. a friend of mine got pregnant halfway thorugh her GP reg year and is taking a year out now, and her husband is in my year at medical school.

you need to find out when you can do it emotionally and decide how much time you think you want off to raise your kid...but it's very true that it will never be ideal, so it will involve sacrifice at some point down the line.

any NHS employer should not discriminate against you for taking time out at any point to have a child.

[Doc Skin]

That's for the advice

I think F1/F2 years would definitely be too difficult to cope with a pregnancy, also if I had to move about a lot.

So I think it will be best to wait until after that, a long time, but oh well, couldn't afford it before anyway

[Michael]

My wife is coming to the end of her pregnancy - we are both 5th years, and she is due 6 weeks before finals. Having a baby in the final year has probably worked out the best by a mile. We were not contemplating children till ST program, being in the NHS means that if you have maternity pay you recieve FULL pay as long as you return to the job you left for 1 year.

Anyway as fate turned out she got pregnant during the 5 year, the med school have been fully supportive, she can take it easy and they don't fuss over any missed clinical time or lectures / seminars due to scans/appt or general tiredness (cannot discriminate against pregnancy in med school). Means she is not on her feet constantly which would be the case in the proper job. She isn't taking a year out either and starting FY1 as planned (we need the cash).

Leaving it too late, limits the number of kids you can have, increases the age of the eggs you carry etc and means you older parents. But anyway, in summary there is no way of planning babies, they just seem to happen!

[elz]

thats intresting micheal, thanks for sharing, its good to kno unis are supportive. good luck with it all!

yea u have to think about when you'l be able to afford a baby too, probably not until after Foundation yrs if ur anything like me!

[vdnabliss]

maybe i best have a baby next year then!