Having a baby while at uni reading medicine?

[Second Time Round]

Hi,
Interesting thread ... I am currently contemplating declining my offer to study med even though I have already handed in my notice at my work where up to last week I had a senior, permanent and well paid position in my local health service.... and now I'm thinking this selfish decision to study medicine would take me too far away from ever having children with my fiance, quality time with my family etc! However, after reading this thread I'm up in the air again - I have never been so indecisive in my life!!! Maybe I could freeze my eggs?!!

(27 yr old, graduate, due to start med school Sept 2010 and now unemployed : ) )

[dotvicky]

Hmm - is having kids really the only thing that's stopping you from going for it? Are you sure it's not finding a reason for your (completely understandable) last-minute nerves about taking on a challenge that is your dream?

If it really is just that you're worried about the issues you mention, it's worth pointing out that there's *never* a good time to have kids, after all, I imagine you've thought that it hasn't been the right time up until now? There won't be any points in the future that are better either! However, we all (well those who want to and are lucky enough) find the time and energy somehow at whatever stage of life we find ourselves in. I also wonder/worry if you're not factoring in all the unknowns - you might not be able to get pregnant, you might not be able to stay pregnant, you may have a child with special needs. It's just not possible to 'plan' children the way that you can plan a degree or your working life. Of course, for many people it does indeed go very smoothly but for more people than you may realise it doesn't. I don't want to freak you out (and at 27 you have many years before you need to worry about the ol' biological clock), it's more to say that it seems a bit crazy to give up the certainty of a place at med school for the huge uncertainties of parenthood.

If you really want to have kids right now, I'd still start med school and then if/when you get pregnant, see what your options are then - don't throw away your shot now if you have it.

Of course, I'm doing the classic thing of saying what I'd do in the situation which probably isn't that helpful but I thought I ought to post a reply.

Cheers
Vicky

[Second Time Round]

Thanks, actually your reply was very helpful ... I think I needed to give my head a shake and realise this is a case of last minute nerves... you are right also about the lack of a perfect time to have children so for once I guess I need to roll with it and see what the journey brings - I have not even started my studies and already I feel this process has been a huge learning curve and a roller coaster! It makes sense to go to med school and see how I can work things once I'm in it .. that's good advice

Anyways thanks again

[cottonwool4brains]

Hello,
having children at medical school is not the end of the world...although i have to admit that it felt that
way for a time when i realised that i was having one myself. I have an eleven month old daughter
and am coming towards the end of my third year on a graduate entry course, for many reasons, most
financial i took only two weeks off uni after i had my daughter and no time before. i won't pretend that
it has been easy but I have managed and i don't regret doing it, my daughter is wonderful and i
wouldn't change things for the world now. I still enjoy my course, if anything my daughter has made
me more focussed. I just think that whatever happens happens and if you really want to do medicine
you will find a way to work things out whatever happens.
Good luck. x