single mum thinking of applying to med school

**Carojones** · 01-06-2005, 12:40 PM

Hi, this is my first post. I'm Caroline, 37, and a single mum to an 18-month old boy - and I'm thinking of applying to med school. And I'm wondering if I'm mad!

What worries me most is not the actual med school bit, its the hours for PRHO and SHO jobs. As I don't have any support from my son's father, and no family to help out, and couldn't possibly afford an aupair or live-in nanny, it seems like it might be impossible.... also the idea of hardly seeing my son is a bit of a worry.

but - the idea just won't go away! so - a few questions to anyone - is anyone a single parent, or know of one at med school? If so - how so they plan to cope with the PRHO/SHO posts? I've heard of 'flexible training' - anyone know how hard it is to get (and how 'flexible' it is?) Also - are there any long / unsociable hours required while at med school?

I already have the A-level grades, and am doing an Access course at the moment (to show I can still do it!). Would love to get feedback on this - I've always believed in going for your dreams and not letting anything hold you back - but wondering if I'm being a bit unrealistic with this one.

Caroline

**Linda** · 01-06-2005, 12:56 PM

Hi Caroline,

I do not have an answer about child care. I do, however, think that you should not give up on the idea of medicine if this has been your dream.

I am 43 and have just been offered a place on the Graduate Entry course at Barts for 2005. I am a single mum, but my daughter is now 19 years old and at university herself. I know that as she was growing up, I thought about doing this so many times and dismissed it because of all the things you are saying. If someone had helped me sort things out I would have been able to do it sooner.

There are many options when it comes to children. Sit down and thrash them out with someone. Yes, there will be long hours and times when you do not see your child. But the NHS is also becoming much more 'parent friendly' with its policies etc.

There is a lot to be said for being fulfilled yourself, for that will make you a better parent overall! There is also something to be said for being a role model for your children.

Just for your information, HSBC bank has been my saviour. I could not do this without them. I will end up with a shitload of debt, but so what. I will be finally able to attain my lifelong dream and will be doing the work I always should have been doing.

Your son is a baby at the moment. If you study medicine, you will be through most of the training before he is 8 years old. Think of all the good things you can offer the NEXT 10 years of his life if you are working as a doctor!! Alternatively, you can wait until he is 18 like I did ....

Best of luck with it.

Linda

**peaceful_blossom** · 01-06-2005, 12:58 PM

Sorry I really cant answer your question becasue no Im a mother or a medical student. I am a A level student.

But I just wanted to say that, if you really want to do medicine then there is nothing that can stop you. And no you are not mad. Its never too late to start anything.

I'm sure if you time your self you will be about to be with your son!

I think most unis have day care centres where you can take children, when your in lesson.

Ok i know this wasnt much help.

But all the best!

**saz.bell** · 01-06-2005, 12:59 PM

I think its great you are thinking of medicine. Much respect. You should probably consider the hours at medical school too. depending on which course you go for there are classes everyday of the week sometimes 9-5. Then during the clinical years you are expected to be in hospital 9-5 as well. Then you need to study at night and weekends - especially coming up to exams. Things to investigate are creches in the university itself - which I think you can get help with money for.

I dont think you can do flexible training during the PRHO (now foundation) years. Although you can do flexible training during SHO years and beyond. Especially in specialities such as surgery. The hours have been substantially reduced in the past year. With the new working time directive doctors are only supposed to work 56 hours a week and they want to drop this to 46 by 2010 I think. Also I have a lot of friends who are starting the new foundation PRHO jobs in August and in their first year they are only allowed to work 8am til 4.30pm as a new 'hospital at night' scheme will look over night admissions.

When you graduate you will have substantially more money to help towards childcare and during medical school there are always loans and scholarships and bursaries - look at the nhs and student support websites. I know a few people at uni with families and they seem to cope just fine.

Hope this helps a little. If its really what you want to do then do it - it would be so worth it in the end.

sarah

**ALOHA** · 01-06-2005, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Carojones

Also - are there any long / unsociable hours required while at med school?

Hi Caroline!
You are not mad

, and you are mature enough to know what you want.
During the SHO, you will be paid between 19700£ and 35000£ a year depending on the activity of the hospital you are in. It is written on the NHS website. So, this should be helpfull to handle everything...
http://www.nhscareers.nhs.uk/nhs-kno...data/5340.html

ABout the hours, I have no clue, however, I am sure you would work it out, and it depends also on if you choose to be a GP, or a specialist.
Go for it! Believe in yourself! Don't anticipate problems. If a pb comes at one moment, I am sure you will find a solution at that precise moment, and everything is going to be alright. Good luck!

**bumpy** · 11-06-2005, 08:22 PM

Hope ur still reading this thread Caroline..I too have 2 kids (5 & 8yrs old)...When I started my nurse training they were 2months and 2 1/2 yrs old...I had no family support and only had one friend who sometimes helped out....I also had to work night shifts sometimes and weekends as well while doing the course just so I could afford the nursery fees...it was a hard slog but I did it and the kids are very balanced and adjusted........

I've just gotten a place on the GEP for this September which is great but the childcare issues still remain; I still have no family support and because I'm always working, I don't have much of a social network...what I'm doing now is sorting out afterschool clubs run by the council which can keep them up till 5:30 and possibly leave them with other parents to be dropped off at school.......

If u start med school next year ur child will almost be 3 yrs....u r eligible for funding once he/she gets to 3 and starts nursery school...there is also tax credits which help out with childcare costs so u won't struggle so much....I haven't given up my goal and neither should u.....life is about challenges....meet them....it will make u a stronger person....

u know, it's funny; people always ask....are u superwoman? Wish I was....lol

**Carojones** · 15-06-2005, 12:37 AM

Bumpy,

thanks for your post - it's encouraging to know someone in a similar position is doing it.

Do you know if you have to do any 'out of hours' work on clinical placements while still at med school? And if so - do you know in advance what hours you'll be doing? (if you know in advance, at least SOME possibility of planning childcare - but if you're just expected to stay late as and when needed, it would be pretty impossible...) If so - any ideas on ways to manage the childcare?

congratulations on getting in to a GEP, and best of luck with it all

caroline

**bumpy** · 16-06-2005, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by Carojones

Bumpy,

thanks for your post - it's encouraging to know someone in a similar position is doing it.

Do you know if you have to do any 'out of hours' work on clinical placements while still at med school? And if so - do you know in advance what hours you'll be doing? (if you know in advance, at least SOME possibility of planning childcare - but if you're just expected to stay late as and when needed, it would be pretty impossible...) If so - any ideas on ways to manage the childcare?

congratulations on getting in to a GEP, and best of luck with it all

caroline

hi again Caroline,

As far as I'm aware, the clinical years are basically 9-5 but sometimes u may be required to stay a little later....however, I'm pretty sure you don't have to if u explain ur individual situation at the start of ur placement....that's what I plan to do anyway.....also, it depends on which med school u are going to as some cover a wide geographical area and u may be required to travel out......if u can arrange with ur uni beforehand so most of ur placements are near home that will help.....most tutors are very helpful and understanding (hopefully) and will try to accommodate ur needs if u address them early.......

I don't plan on picking the kids up any later than 5:30 but if there are problems I've negotiated with one friend to pick them up in an emergency........childminders are also good if u must do out of hours if it comes to that; and keep kids up to 2030....however, I don't think you should have much of a problem if u explain ur situation early to ur uni and at the start of each placement to the consultant........they're meant to be flexible.....

Hope I manage thru this course without too many problems....I just plan to deal with each crisis as it appears and hope there aren't too many ear infections/miscellaneous bugs/accidents or any of those damn scrapes kids seem to get into...I've warned them that I'm semi divorcing them for a couple of years and if they are very very very good then I'll have them back and give them lots of treats for being good; they're a little sceptical...lol

**bumpy** · 17-06-2005, 12:40 PM

thanks for the congrats; I forgot to mention it in my above post......I'm soo rude (:-slap; slap;slap on wrists:-)

**baggers** · 27-06-2005, 12:58 AM

Hi Caroline

Just to let you know that i know someone who is a single mum and she worked part-time as a PRHO to fit around her daughter's school hours. This was in a psychiatry block so i don't know if other specialities do similiar things but there certainly are some possibilities out there for parents.

Also i think that within a few years the NHS will have to provide more posts like this to accomodate the increasing number of mature students/parents going into medicine.

Anyway, good luck with it all!

Clare