I've turned my life around :D

[Lucy xxx]

I want to write this thread to make anyone who may be having doubts about their ability, realise that if you want something enough,it IS possible. I am living proof!

I've wanted to be a Dr forever, but my earliest actual memory of this is aged 9.
I was always top at school, right up until the age of 13. However, i have a lot of 'extenuating circumstances', and aged 13, these eventually caught up with me. Even though i knew my dream of studying medicine was slipping away, i couldn't focus on work. I still got average grades at school, but no where near how i used to be, i pulled out of grade 7 piano and singing exams, stopped all sport, and literally became a hermit.

Having been used to getting good grades without working, i did no work for my GCSEs, i reckoned i could do it by studying the night before. Maybe i would have been able to, but my Gingan had a heart attack the day before my first exam. He was in a coma for 2 weeks, eventually the machine was turned off, his funeral was held the morning before one of my afternoon exams. I cannot blame his death for my GCSEs not being what they should have been, i shouldnt have left work so late. But it is true that his drawn out death during my exams had a huge impact on how i performed in my exams, as i couldn't stop crying. It didn't help that through my exams my mum was always at the hospital, and my dad works away from home, so it was a complete disruption to suddenly have to fend for myself at such an already stressful time.
I ended up with 1 A*, 4 A's,4 B's and 1 C. I had been predicted straight A*s. I was convinced i had wrecked any chance of getting into medical school.

I moved schools for sixth form, and whilst i loved the school, it was far bigger than my old one, and i never got my confidence back which had been lost aged 13ish. I hated playing sport, i reluctantly joined the choirs etc, but refused to perform any solos in concerts. In class i was known as the stupid one, and was laughed at when people heard i wanted to be a Dr. My teachers didn't believe in me, rightly so, as my prep grades were awful. As the terms went on, i got further and further behind, because i was in such shock at how bad i was that i just couldnt ask for help. I had always been top, and then suddenly i was 'the stupid one'. I actually believed i was stupid, and somehow forgot that not that many years ago, i had been quite bright. Once when i friend was round she found a list of some old test results i'd done, and she didnt believe they were mine.

When it came to UCAS time, my careers tutor told me i should be a nurse. I refused to give in to what everyone was saying. My application was sent off, with my less than average grades. Luckily i am an all rounder, so had all the extra curricular stuff and loads of work experience. An extra letter was also sent to each med school, outlining my extenuating circumstances- these didn't include the timely death of my Gingan, but the more personal matters which had caught up with me aged 13 and not quite left me yet.

I got interviews and offers from everywhere i applied. Friends were shocked, some were annoyed as they had straight A's but no interviews. teachers were pleased for me but reminded me i still had to get the conditions of offers 'AAB'.

March 2008-results came out. I had BUD. i finally went and asked for help from a teacher that at first id been scared of, but eventually grew to respect- she was only scary because i didnt work!
The last month of my UVI year, i spent from pretty much 7.30am to 9pm everyday in the labs, going over practice papers, getting help from this teacher. She even helped me on Sundays (and saturdays-boarding school).As my confidence in that subject grew, i was able to work in my other subjects too. i still didnt believe i could do it, but having her beleif in me made such a difference and i began to work so hard. it was the worst month of my life, i became so stressed i remember getting back from labs one night still in my suit and bursting into tears at the prospect of having to get changed into pajamas as somehow i was convinced that those few mins getting changed not revising would make me miss my grades.
Last summer i took 18 modules. it was hard work. i lost a lot of friends as i simply didnt see them, but i dont mind as they were obviously superficial. my real friends were there for me when i eventually emerged from my room after exams.

In august my results came out-BBB. at first i was upset, but on closer looking, i was borderline and one med school deferred my offer if i could get AAA in a gap year.
January this year i did retakes, 5 of them. i did it at home, without going into school, as that last month of summer term had taught me all the work ethic i needed. again,no one believed i could do it without outside help,but this time i believed in myself, which makes such a difference.
Yesterday i got my results-AAA. I was in such shock i spent the next 4 hours making various phone calls and emails to the school trying to clarify what they meant,AAA OVERALL?! they eventually convinced me today,by sending me the breakdown of every module i retook and yes ive done it, ive met the conditions of my offers. As for biology which i had an U in, i now have 98%!
And as for music,ive recently begun playing the piano again .

I feel like the last ten years of worry have finally paid off. i know ive got a tough 5 yrs ahead of me,as wel as the rest of my life, but i never thought id get this far. my extenuating circumstances are with me for the rest of my life, but so are those 3 A's, which on paper look so small, but mean so much to me.

I know ive written like my life story here, but the hours and hours ive spent agonising over my future, the nights ive spent wide awake crying,searching for courses,knowing in reality i didnt want to do anything except medicine,the weeks at school with everone teling me it was impossible,but own friends trying to let me down gently. I just want anyone else who has any dream but doesnt believe they can do it, to perservere xxx...only problem now is...which medical school do i choose?!! hehe x

[Singh.Simran]

Fantastic lucy!

I always had no doubt of course Which school are you going to then?

[Lucy xxx]

thanks. Cardiff or Leeds, don't know yet! x

[Saq2k7]

well done Lucy just shows if you have the determination and will to do medicine or anything else you aspire to become

then what you think is impossible becomes possible

[ghafa]

congratulations lucy. You truly are an inspiration to everyone...brilliant results!! x x

[Big a]

Congratulations Lucy It must have taken a lot to open up like that...and thats an achievement in itself

Good luck in having the wonderful choice of what med school you want to go too

[darkido]

Well done!! Hope we can all learn from your spirit!

[Zabier]

Well done!

I often feel that I had no excuse, I was just lazy and when I look at what some people have gone through it makes me feel so guilty.

I guess thats he point of the mature application process for someone like me though. I 'woke up' and started working.

Lucy, you deserve every bit of what you have achieved and it will be better because you persevered for it.

[Lucy xxx]

Thanks guys! I've chosen Leeds over Cardiff...feeling slightly disloyal to Cardiff as they were always my first choice until recently...eek...but majorly excited anyway! x

[Clarkey]

You should be really proud of yourself. Well done and enjoy medical school