Embarking on a medical career with a young family - good idea or not?!

[73DT]

Hi everyone

I'm appealing to any recently qualified or student medics in the system who have young families.

I have just received an offer for the GPEP course at Kings in London starting in September 2012. I am over the moon to have a place but I am having a major wobble because of the potential pressure this will put on my family. The four years of study aren't the issue, its the foundation and early training years I am bothered about. Several people have made scary remarks such as, 'you'll never see your kids' or 'your family life is over' etc etc. My current position is very fortunate because I have complete flexibility over my life and I earn a good living from what I do so it will be a bit of a culture shock for everyone if I study to become a doctor. I am very close to my wife and kids and wonder if I am just being too selfish in pursuing a career in medicine when I could continue in my current career and be a better (or at least more present) husband and father.

I really want to study medicine, the question is whether I should?

Can anyone give me some valid insight into what life is really like during the foundation years and whether the above sorts of remarks are true?

Thank you in advance for any advice you can offer.

73DT

[TheTool]

First of all congratulations on your offer.

I do not have any children myself however both my older sisters did medicine as a nature student and let me tell you something, they found it extremely difficult, BUT manageable. When they were at med school, at times if there was anything wrong with their kids they would immediately had to leave their lectures etc so that they would have to look after them. However, if you have your wife, then this will definitely make your life much more easier as she could deal with things like that.

During their foundation years, things did get a bit difficult for them but again it was completely manageable. As an F1 and F2 you have to work extremely hard in your chosen hospital and in addition to this you still have some exams that you would have to do (I do not know if it is like this for most F1s but this was certainly the case with one of my sisters who wishes to pursue a career as a surgeon). In saying this, however, you would probably have to work only 40+ hrs per week and this would leave you with plenty of time to spend with your wife and children. But this will be quite hard to do as after a shift all you want to do is sleep (esp if you have been up for over 20+ hours!). Things will get considerably easier after your foundation years depending on which specialty you choose.

I think what you need to remember is that it is very hard however this should not stop you from following your dream and not you will not be seen as selfish because plenty of people who have posted/post on this website have managed to do it/ are doing it!!!. Hope this helps

[73DT]

Dear 'The Tool'

Thanks for your reply and kind words, I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

I am certainly not afraid of hard work (in fact I think the work load might even be a bit easier than my job) rather its the amount of flexibility you get that is more the concern. As you say, plenty of people seem to have done it so it must be manageable. If I am honest, I was a bit shocked at being offered a place at Kings, I thought I'd messed the interview up completely.

Its sunk in more over the weekend and I am extremely lucky to have this opportunity.

With regards to your sisters, have their careers been everything they'd hoped for be so far?

Kinds regards
Darren

[TheTool]

Hi

Yes my sisters have both enjoyed their work so much, that I have been convinced to change my degree from law to medicine (hopefully next year). One of my sisters has gone on to be a heart surgeon, while the other one is still an F2, (keep in mind that they both have very young kids) which I must say has not always been easy for them.

One last thing, I think the reason that most of the people here, and this applies to my sisters as well, manage to do well at uni and during their F1s is because of the support that is offered to them. If during your F1, the hospital staff around you are not very understanding of your situation, then your life will be somewhat more difficult. However in most situations this is not the case!.

Good luck at Kings

[dotvicky]

I am finding med school hard work but perfectly achievable. I'm doing roughly working-week hours in term-time and part-time working-week hours in the holidays.

As for F1 and F2, pretty much all Foundation Schools will let you do one or both years part-time if you have a valid reason (kiddies is generally a valid reason especially if your partner is also working).

Cheers
Vicky

[Martigan]

I have managed to balance the pressure of doing a GEP course with being a Dad. I have so far managed to keep all my weekends free to devote to my son/partner. It has meant I've had less social time than I'm used to but that's an acceptable sacrifice. I treat the study like a full time professional job. However I am a part-time dad, as I'm no longer with his mother, however I'm not working every weekday evening either, so if my son was with me full time, I could manage, with the support of a partner. However I know parents without that support who are also managing, (and I really admire them)

GEP courses are hard and being a parent on a GEP course is harder. However it's manageable to do the both.

The fact you have got onto the Kings GPEP course is no mean achievement, which would not have happened unless you have clearly demonstrated that you have the ability to manage the content of the course. The Kings course is like the SGUL one, in that during your first year you do the content that the 5-year students do in their first 2. This means that its the first year that is the tough one to get through. Within that, the advice I have had is that its the first term that's the hardest, as that's when you are learning the study techniques you need to get your through.

Just remember there is support for you and its not weakness to turn to that support if you need it. Frequently you won't actually need it, but its just a matter of helping you regain the confidence to know you can manage it.

[73DT]

Dear dotvicky and Martigan

Thanks to both of you for your replies, sounds like you are both managing extremely well so that's pretty inspiring.

How do you both cope around exam time, does this inevitably mean you spend less time with the kids? Do they pick up on any of your stress? Did you children take a bit of time to get used to the idea of you training to be a doctor or were they really excited?

Thanks again to you both for your replies, this is the kind of feedback that is really helpful.

Best regards
73DT

[Martigan]

I was lucky. My exams were the week before Christmas, and As my son was with me for Christmas, he was with my ex for the week before, so I was able to have good focus.

On the main its about juggling and support, the lass who was advising me through my application moved into halls for the few weeks before her finals, leaving her husband with the kids. She then "visited" at weekends. Different people cope in different ways.

It's just like the rest of life really, you just get on with it, but sometimes you have to make difficult calls.

[suneela]

Hello 73DT,
Congratulations on your offer.you are very lucky. I am a wife and mother of 2 very young kids. my youngest is just 2 motnhs old and i tried applying to 2012 entry but had all 4 rejections. I would kill for an offer like ur's. I did the UKCAT and GAMSAT 2011 too but unfortunately my full timestudy was in 2004.So there is no evidence of recent study and also my bachelors is not an honours degree.
SGUL said they would accept my degree. So iam trying to study and sit GAMSAT again this year 2012. I just wondered if you could give me any help and advice on UCAS application and personal statements pls. U could PM me and i can pass on my email id to you if you dont mind. it would mean a lot to me if i can get some help and advice from successful applicants. Thankyou.

[dotvicky]

Heya,

My exams unfortunately always fall after the holidays (except for the summer ones) - great for the 'kiddies' who get to go home to their parents and be cooked and cleaned for, less good for us oldies who are parents ourselves and thus have childcare duties with our own kids aren't in school.

I make use of holiday clubs getting myself around 15-20 hours a week of revision time. However, I work hard during my termtimes so that it's not all learning from scratch when I come to the holidays.

I don't do amazingly in exams generally sitting in the middle of the pack but considering the quality of my cohort, I'm pretty chuffed with that. I'm also starting to suspect that they may be getting away with last-minute rote learning which serves them well in the short term but not in the long term. My learning takes longer but is deeper and I think will hopefully help in the years to come.

Cheers
Vicky