How and when to tell your boss

**dotvicky** · 23-02-2010, 08:14 PM

I think you just have to judge how your relationship with your boss is (and also if telling them puts them in a difficult position further up the chain).

For me, I'm completely open with my boss - he wrote my UCAS reference! However, he knows that he can take me at face value and that I'll work hard at my current job to my last day even if my heart's not really in it.

My previous boss in this company, not sure about him - I don't think he was as comfortable with me and I would have refrained from telling him until the last moment.

However, I'm fortunate that even if they *did* make me redundant which is unlikely, I could go get a short term contract job before starting uni.

If you tell your employer, try to see it from their perspective and do a lot of work to reassure them that they'll still be getting your best until your final day.

Cheers
Vicky

**danbutler05** · 23-02-2010, 10:30 PM

I told my boss when I found out that my King's interview clashed with a £3000 training course i'd been nominated for! We get on extremely well and he's been immensely supportive. Unfortunately since telling him he's no longer my boss and his replacement is about as unapproachable as they come! News of my (hopeful) September departure also politically had to go up the chain, meaning that the Director who was about to sign off my pay increase found out and ....no pay increase.
I work for a pretty big company that I have no emotional ties to so in hindsight I wish I could have just kept my mouth shut and left them in the lurch in September but that's not me. They appreciate the advanced warning and I still have a job...just don't expect any special treatment or career progression from the day you tell them!

**danbutler05** · 24-02-2010, 02:33 PM

Yeah I wasn't happy but what can you do?! I've got my fingers crossed that nothing happens to the bursaries too - the BMA website had some info on the discussions going on about future options for the bursaries.

The NHS bursary review - The British Medical Association

Personally, i'd be screwed if i'd given up work, slogged through year 1 with no money only to find they flip the bursary rules in year 2....but i'm sure they wouldn't let that happen....£20 billion is a pretty big number and it has to come from somewhere!

Anyway, back on subject - I think as long as you're straight with your employer and you work hard until the day you leave you really shouldn't have any problems. Also, if they do whip the bursary rug from under our feet there's possibly a job to go back to for the short term....(*shudders at the thought*)

**AstroMedic** · 14-04-2011, 03:15 PM

So, I'm bringing up this lovely issue again...

Was able to get out of facing the boss last year, as I deferred, but now I'm back in the same old boat. And I'm totally freaked out. I have no idea how I'm gonna pluck up the courage to do this. My boss is really nice, but I really don't think he'll understand why I'm doing this!

Letter or face-to-face?
Is it wrong to not tell him asap?

I want to be professional & fair about it, but I'm one big whimp! And I keep having doubts about my sanity! Why am I giving up a good career again...?!?

Totally freaking out..!

**ceih** · 14-04-2011, 04:08 PM

I told my boss back in February when I got my SGUL offer, as I knew that I would be leaving, no matter what happened with other offers and my final choice. My departure is at the end of July, so I gave over five months notice. I've only been in post since September 2010, so they weren't expecting an early departure.

Why?
Simply put, you're helping them. If they need to recruit to replace you, then rather than creating the situation where they are working without somebody (most recruitment processes take at least 6-8 weeks), you're allowing them to plan and get this in place by the time you leave. You're showing a high level of respect for your boss, and not just dumping them in the deep end.

It could make your last few months a bit awkward, depending on the personalities in the workplace, but if your boss truly cares about their staff then they should support your decision.

**Womble83** · 15-04-2011, 12:15 PM

Hi,
I'm in a very similar position, except that I'm deferring, so have another 18 months stuck in limbo (Australia). I'm still agonising whether to tell my boss or not.

I posted a thread and had some very useful replies if you wanted to have a read.
Deferral dilemma

**SuzyCat** · 15-04-2011, 04:15 PM

Hello AstroMedic, I've just been through this and it seems like we've been having similar feelings in response to the situation! I'm not exactly in my boss' good books at the moment, but I still feel like I did the right thing in telling him straight away.

So my situation is that I've worked here for almost 3 years now, except for nine months when my boss very kindly held my job open for me while I went off to complete my masters. I get on really really well with my boss, and my bf jokingly refers to him as 'work dad'! I sit opposite him and in a close team of five. They've known for a long time that I've been enjoying volunteering and St John Ambulance, but I've never mentioned any desire to be a doctor. My boss thinks I'd be really good in the career I'm currently in. So yeah my boss loves me, and he's gone out of his way to be good to me(like with the masters), and its a good position at a good company. Cue me getting my offers!

I was terrified about telling my boss and I put it off for a couple of weeks. I really wanted to just email him while he was on a trip instead of talk to him face to face but I psyched myself up for it.And then it was a Friday and he was about to leave and he said 'can I talk to you a minute' and I said that I wanted to talk to him too. He took me aside then said that I'd be getting a promotion in May(Could this get any worse?!?!), and then said something like'but I guess from the fact you want to talk to me that you might be leaving.' And then I told him about going to medical school in September. It definitely came as a real surprise to him!! He pretty much had to run off straight away but he immediately said that he hopes that I change my mind because of what they've done for me here and he seemed very angry. I said something along the lines of 'I know, and I'm sorry' but it was a v short convo.

I dreaded Monday over the weekend and yes I was right to! On the Monday we went for a coffee and it was all very calm, not angry. But then he basically said to me that I have a good career here and that I'm mad to go, that I will struggle on the course because I'll be older than everyone, that I'll have noone looking out for me, he even implied that my boyfriend would leave me. He said I'd basically end up dropping out and my life would be ruined and I'd never get another job!!! It was awful! And that set off doubts in me, but a few weeks on and everything is fine. It prompted me to look over my decision again and evaluate everything again, which can only be good. My boss has barely mentioned it since then, just said that if I go I need to give six weeks notice. My relationship with him seems to be back to normal, joking around. What's bad is that I think he thinks I will change my mind, so it will be bad again when I give my notice in.

I guess my advice would be, tell your boss on a friday! If they are angry they will calm down by Monday!! Don't tell them when they are in a hurry to leave though, I think that was a mistake I made. Drop hints I think would be another tip. But then I thought that I had done that (talking about how much I enjoyed volunteering) and it still came as a surprise. Does your boss know about any volunteering/work experience you've been doing? If they have their suspicions first it will be less of a shock to them and they can understand your motivations more. I think its better to give longer than your notice period, they'll be thankful for it in the end. As for letter or face-to-face, I think thats a hard one. Face-to-face is more professional but then in a letter you can fully explain yourself without someone shouting 'MEDICAL school?!' at you!

I also think my boss' reaction about telling me my life will be ruined was a bit extreme! I think a lot of bosses would be sympathetic, especially as its medicine and helping people instead of investment banking or something! Just remember its unlikely that you wil be treated badly for a few months, chances are thinkgs will get back to more or less normal. In the worst case scenario, you can't be fired, it will just be a few months of discomfort but then your dream career!!

**AstroMedic** · 25-07-2011, 02:54 PM

So,..... I've finally done it! Can't believe it!

Needless to say I was petrified throughout, and actually physically shaking when I told him (lame, I know!) I waited until almost everyone had left the building and slowly walked to his office with my heart pounding (I only turned back twice....!).

I wrote an official resignation letter in the end, which I handed to him and let him read. It didn't say where I was going, but I knew I had to give him the letter first as I didn't know where to start explaining. So he read the letter and obviously asked where I was going, so I was then able to tell him about my offer etc.

He was shocked, but really supportive, and he didn't say he thought I was an idiot or making a huge mistake (which is what I'd feared!) despite the fact I couldn't tell him exactly why I was doing this - And he totally got it, despite my obvious doubts and fears, that it was just something I've got to do!!

It all felt quite surreal, but I can't tell you how relieved I am it's done now.

Gave two months notice, to ensure I have time for a proper handover.

Thanks to all your comments above, it really helped me find that ounce of confidence I needed to do the deed! And it's always good to know you're not the only one quietly feeling insane! Thanks guys!