Support from friends and family?

[andrinanightshade]

My parents and sister are giving me a fairly lukewarm response to my decision to apply for medicine in September. My boyfriend is expecting me to "snap out of it" any day now. And, with one notable exception, I haven't told any of my close friends yet.

How has everyone else's family and friends reacted to their decision?

[latestarter]

I didn't tell many of my friends and colleagues when I started this journey and only my very close family knew.
Looking back, it was probably the vagueness that made them wonder what I was doing...

My reason was mainly the thought of failing to get that place, it's stressful enough with people asking you if you got in all the time.

From my family there was a mixture of reaction, from why medicine after leaving a good job to why now? and also, wasn't your degree a waste of time then - you've only just finished!

Now my firends think I'm addicted to studying and perhaps I am as it's one of the things that attracts me - I'll be forever learning and keeping on top of latest developments.

At the end of the day - as long as you have suppport when you get in, that's what really matters. Because the thoughts tend to be in your head for a while before talking about it, I think it can be seen as coming out of the blue for those closest to you.

[Martigan]

My family is luke warm about it too.

My Dad and son are supportive. My Mum thinks I'm nuts to give up a career where I'm well paid and start from scratch. I don't think she understands what its like to be in a job that you have no passion for. My sister doesn't seem supportive to my face, but has been telling her friends how proud of me she is for following my heart.

[Nerrep]

Parents are both very supportive - probably due in no small part to them both having a medical background. Family have been much the same.

Friends were initially less so; reactions ranged from 'what are you doing, you witless cretin' to 'the thought of you as a doctor terrifies me', but after seeing the amount of work that's gone into the application and the sacrifices I've made for it (and hence presumably how much I want this to work) have become more understanding.

Still need to get through finals though... Back to revision, I think

[kotoreru]

My parents were thrilled I chose this career. However I can think of one person at Uni whose family were totally against it.

Then again they had reason: she was qualified in another field and had great prospects. Why would they be happy that she was throwing that away for 5 years of poverty leading to a job that pays less?

[chiari]

During my application only my Mum and my best friend knew I was applying. I'm glad I had their support as I dont think I could have got through the process without having someone to whine to! I agree with Latestarter, it's best not to tell too many people while applying unless you don't mind the stress of being asked how it's going all the time.

I didn't tell any of my work colleagues why I was leaving my job, as at that point I did not know if I had got in or not. When they did finally find out, the majority were pretty lukewarm, and one or two actually spread rumours that I was making it all up!

However, the people that really matter to me have been very pleased, and it doesn't matter what the rest of them think (or make up about me!) as I'm looking forward to meeting a whole new group of friends at med school.

[giella]

My mother is against it. My best friend is ambivalent. Most of my other friends are really for it though, and they can see why I'm doing it.
One of the problems I have is that if I fail, I won't get the support I need from my family. If I succeed however, they'll be happy for me. I makes me resent them.
I also hate having to ignore advice from my family. To some extent, I can blame them for not knowing me as well as they think they do. I also know that they can see other things for me, based on what they do know, which are in some ways dead on. This makes me doubt myself.
The lack of reaction from my best friend really annoys me. Maybe she really has nothing to say about it, but I really wish she would.
I've had more good reactions from bad. The bad reactions I've had from my family have made me really dig deep for the reasons that I want to do medicine and I think they're sound. I don't think I would keep going for it if not for that.

[Polldoll]

My friends are being supportive, my family not as much. Mum thinks I should just concentrate on building a nursing career. She worries about the financial side of doing another degree, and I guess thinks I have done enough studying!

Stupidly enough I have mentioned it to people at work and recently found out that a couple of the senior staff nurses have been bitching about me behind my back! Just the typical "why did she bother doing nursing" and who'd want to be a doctor anyway rubbish. Cant pretend it didnt hurt, but I suppose I shouldnt be suprised.

Px

[Madeleine_22]

My parents are both very unsupportive just in different ways. My mum tends to put on a very disappointed/upset/resentful voice whenever I talk about my application and says very little "reserving judgement" or saying things like "its up to you I suppose" or "you could always train as a solicitor" lol even though I have no interest in law!

My mum used to be totally supportive but as my dad left recently after an affair she is really lonely and unfortunately she is quite biased and would like me close prefereably living back at home! Even at the detriment of a future I have always wanted! It makes me really angry sometimes as she is being rather selfish but I've found out recently parents splitting up tend to become very childish! I do tell myself my mum probably doesn't realise she is doing it.

My Dad is a real bully! He is a consultant doc who used to be GP then re trained to make anti-cancer drugs so you'd think he would understand or at least empathise with my aspirations. Again he USED to be supportive but recently in a twisted way the closer I am getting the worse his attitude towards me. He convinced me my dissertation would be' no good' because I hadn't let him proof-read the thing before I submitted it. He even reduced me to tears! When I rang him months later to tell him it is being published he made some sarcastic put down and changed the subject.
Anytime I talk about my plans to enter medicine as a graduate he cuts me down with various snide remarks. I had a conversation with him recently and he belittled me so much I just gritted my teeth made my excuses and left. I did get very very upset about it at one point, but I'm making a consious effort not to let him get to me he is just a big bully!

But I do feel very lonely and scared sometimes when I stop and think about it. Ofcourse I don't NEED my Dads approval or my mums help but it would still be nice to have it as everyone feels this way and wants their parents to at least show encouragement or say "well done" occasionally.

I've recently made sure to concentrate on my application and not tell them anything else about it. It makes me sad and sometimes bitter, but then again my friends support me 100% and I'm sure my cat is proud of me!

[dances_with_lamposts]

wow, sorry to hear about all you people with unsupportive firends/parents. it must make your application so much more stressful. the good thing is however, that you have all the support you could want on this forum!