Help for work experience letter to hospital

[musama91]

Hi, This is what I have so far. Can you please give me some pointers on what else I should include. I know that I should write about why/what I want to do in that particular hospital but dont know how to write about it.

Thanks

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Road
Town
County
Postcode

The Employers Name
Full Address
Postcode

26TH January 2009

Dear Persons name or Sir/Madam,

I would like to enquire about the possibility of a work experience placement within your hospital during the week 20 – 24 July 2009.

I am 17 and a student at Sutton Grammar School for Boys. I am studying A level’s in Biology, Chemistry, Critical Thinking, DT Graphics and Maths. I have combined the analytical skills I have developed from Chemistry and problem solving from maths with the work I have done in Biology to form a strong foundation for becoming a doctor.

Whilst I am trying to gain various work experience that will help confirm this as my career choice, I am writing to your hospital specifically as I would like to see what makes a good doctor and due to your excellent reputation, I feel that name of hospital would be the best place to do so.

Prior to this, I have experience of working in a care home with terminally ill patients and worked in Liaquat National Hospital in Pakistan for 2 weeks. There, I was able to compare the medical problems faced by each nation and how western and third world healthcare systems were setup. Having shadowed doctors through various departments, such as outpatients, paediatrics, pathology and radiology I have half-confirmed medicine as my career choice, but to be absolutely certain, I want to gain some experience here. I volunteered at British Heart Foundation for a year and during my time there; I was quickly promoted to cashier and was able to interact with members of the public from various backgrounds. I am a good communicator, compassionate, have good etiquettes and am very organised.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

SIGNATURE

Muhammad Usama Imran

[ben_]

That's fine, although "I have good etiquettes" is a strange construction. Try "manners" if you want to preserve the meaning.

[zak!]

Tht's good, perhaps try to start less sentances with the word I... but to be honest, I'm being pedantic for a letter just asking for work experience