Thread: Depression in medical school
01-05-2012, 03:13 PM #11
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I'm not sure if it's full on depression you're experiencing but maybe, natural human emotions related to bad experiences? You've done really well to keep going. I commend you for being strong and brave enough to talk about it on here. If depression has developed as a result of what's happened then try and remember that you're doing everything you can and no one can take your achievements away. Despite how you feel now, with time everything will get better and you will deal with new challenges just as you have done in the past which will make you even stronger. Best of luck to you and keep going as I'm sure you're doing an amazing job.
02-05-2012, 04:39 AM #12
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
What you are going through sounds like it would get anyone down. You're in a difficult place and congratulations, you are a normal human being with normal emotions. If you had gone through what you have and still felt chirpy, I would have been more concerned. However, you are 10+ months down the line now and if you are still feeling this way you need to talk to someone. Your GP is most likely going to be your first port of call but most unis have a dedicated counselling service that is very good. Having a depression isn't going to affect your prospects of being a doctor, they couldn't care less to be perfectly honest. Not acknowledging it however is more likely to lead to problems.
Being a doctor is about helping others, but to help others you need to be in a good place yourself and if you aren't you need to get to that place. If you don't see yourself being able to accept help, you are in deep trouble. Your working career will be fraught with difficult problems that will play havoc with your emotions and if you don't let that out you won't survive. Having made it past the hurdle of making it into medical school and being able to post a coherent message on here I can almost assuredly say you are going to be fine as a doctor, but only if you accept that you are human. How we deal with the emotions are individual, some become cynical (read house of god for that), some become unbearably nurturing, some become distant, some drink and for others there is no difference until the day they crack. Please don't be the person that cracks.
You have to imagine yourself six years down the line when you are on a medical ward surrounded by vegetables. How will you cope with this? Will you shrug your shoulders and say nothing can be done or will you weep a little for the lost souls that are under your care. How will you vent your anger to see a lovely lady, 90 years old, who has come in with grade 4 pressure sores because her nursing home hasn't looked after her properly? If you won't accept help now, your problem may go deeper than your own personal life. You won't be shielded from your emotions because you have a new fancy title in front of your name and some new letters behind it. No matter how hard you try you will still be a feeling, caring person and never forget that.
You are in a bad situation, no doubt about that but if you aren't getting anywhere on your own you need to accept that you need help whether it be professional or from friends. If we were to throw strictly professional terms out there a grief process lasting more than 6 months is pathological. Make of that what you will, no one is telling you what to feel but rather that you shouldn't feel the way you are. Losing a girlfriend can tear you up for years but it shouldn't make you feel as miserable as you are, losing your father I can't even imagine the pain but grief has its time and if you let it consume you what will be left?
I would be more than happy to talk to you as someone whom you don't know, just let me know and I would be more than happy to give you my number. I'm not trying to be harsh on you but you are going to have one of the most emotional lines of work possible and having someone to talk to is normal and healthy. Maybe I'm just making assumptions here but if you find yourself wondering about these things, please stop to think about them. If you want to talk, I'm happy to.
04-05-2012, 02:15 AM #13
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Hi everyone - I thought I would post an update as it seems rude not to after I have received such a great response. Thank you all for the replies and the private messages. They have been very positive and nice to read.
Since making this thread I've had quite a few ups and downs. It's remarkable how my mood can change in one day. I normally wake up very positive (once I've properly woken up, that is!) and I become acutely aware of how fortunate I am to be a medical student and how what I am studying is absolutely amazing. I really can't believe that this will be my career.
But, that said, I'm still struggling with my loneliness which, strangely enough, is usually worse when I'm around other people. I think it just reminds me of my recent losses and how ultimately I really am alone when it comes down to it. I've always been fiercely independent which is something that I am very proud of, but I just cannot shake off these feelings of sadness.
I miss being part of a family so much. I just don't have that social support to fall back on or have anyone to chat away to in the evenings. During the day I'm buried in work, but it's always in the back of my mind. When I look around I see people engaging in meaningful relationships and they look so happy. I just don't seem to have that pleasure in my life and subsequently I feel very hollow and inhuman. I'm just terrified that I'm going to spend the rest of my life feeling this alone and I find myself daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to have a wife and kids - my own family to love and look after.
At the moment I'm just trying to stay positive and not allow myself to slip into self-neglect although I have noticed elements of it creeping in every now and then (e.g. being unable to muster the energy to do food shopping or laundry). Although I suspect this largely has to do with the fact that my course is so intensive throughout the week.
Again, thank you for the responses so far. They mean a lot to me.
11-11-2012, 06:05 PM #14
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
Im really glad you are feeling better. I would recommend working really hard to get gome tisp of things to avoid preciptating to avoid early crisis.
I have struggled with depression for yeas and am feeling awful. I switching medications and I am having withdrawal sympoms. I am disconnected from the world, I feel no emotion and cannot understand the point of things. The world lives flows......
I just about to carry my jobs as a 4th can, but with no enjoyment and ethusiasm. I am a horrible person to be around so must be awful for colleaues. This disease is has lost everything in life. I have lost the only person I loved and my lovely family
I have trying to engage me in mental health teams which mixed success.
I have taken enough medications according to PubMed searches. Ideally this post will help others who are similar situation and get help initially unlike me have to carry out the last act.
24-02-2013, 05:01 PM #15
as long as you get help, it doesnt have to stop you. occupational health can actually be really helpful too.2008: Aberdeen -int jan-UNCOND OFFER
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5th year medic -Aberdeen
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