[yeliab_cram]

Ladies and Gentlemen, hello.

I do apologise. I have been absent for far far too long. Alas i have been making preperations to jump through that one last medical school hoop. Unfortunately this one is too small, set at rather an jaunty angle and is aflame. What with all the reading and seeing of patients, there was less time for blogging. However, as with all good articles, the best are written in retrospect anyway - it allows for proper reflection (as opposed to artificial medical school pseudo-reflective bullshit).

So finals. I worked very hard indeed, and can tell you all sorts, from how to diagnose acromegaly to the biochemistry findings in acute cholecystitis and ascending cholangitis. Why a patient may want an EVAR, why they may want an ERCP and all the complications that come with endoscopy, colonscopy, bronchoscopy and any other form of light emmiting tube inserting fun and games. However absolutely none of it came up.

Despite being told over and over again that finals would be on core medical topics and acute management of emergency conditions that we will be expected to deal with as an F1, i was astounded that i could have probably done just as well in finals knowing no cardiology, respiratory, gastro or neuro. I was never asked about acute management of MIs or acute asthma or acute exacerbations of COPD. In fact i wasn't really asked about anything at all. If i had to tell you what my medical finals were on, i honestly couldnt. I would just melt into a pile of goo saying things like "vague" and "impotent" over and over again.

So rather than bitch about my exams, i thought i would take a look back over the personalities that made up my year. After all, they are what i will remember.

So first was bradford, where i got to hang out with a house officer who is a friend of mine, and met the archetypal surgical bastards. It was quite amazing to see one of my peers having evolved from fairly cute blonde medical student into surprisingly efficient and confident young doctor. The gulf seemed immense.

Second was pinderfields, where my consultant was the spitting image of micheal stipe, and was a tad surreal. He knew where i lived and was able to have a twilight zone style conversation with me about the national federation of fish friers (est 1914) HQ which is located on my road.

Third was dewsbury and respiratory medicine - mmm phlegm. There i met a charming consultant who in the first week felt i was invading his personal space in clinic, so went on to map out his personal space for me in case i was confused. It turned around in the end though, when he told me a had a gift for medical writing.

Fourth was GP, again in bradford, so again i got to play with my house officer friend during our teaching at the hospital. It was largely a dull experience, and i learnt that basically the problem with the people of greengates is not so much that they are ill, more they have shitty social circumstances which lead them to be depressed which lead them to somatosize. oh well.

and finally, the LGI, back on home territory. However, we had been away so long it seemed like an alien world. There we met, quite possibly the nicest consultant alive, and i met yet another vascular surgeon who inspired me further along the path to that career.

and thats it. The final run in is done. All we have to do now is 5 weeks of shaddowing, and then pray that the crazy exams were not too crazy for us to be ****ed.

Hopefully more colourful ranting will follow in the coming weeks.